DC Sports Quotes of the Year

Winston-Salem, NC -- One of life's biggest oxymorons is the professional sports athlete. These guys are paid millions of dollars, but their ability to conjure up a complete sentence escapes their mind. To point out the absurdity of their lack of the English language, I initiated the "Quote of the Week" in my weekly Football Pick 'em pool this year. Now, it's time to expand beyond the football hashmarks, and countdown the best sports quotes from DC athletes that were uttered this year. Without further ado...

10. "We want to win all games. When you win, you have good feelings. When you lose, it feels like someone died." – Capitals forward Alex Ovechkin
9. "What a bad pitch it was." – Nationals pitcher Mike Bacsik, asked if anything struck him while watching replays of Barry Bonds's record-setting homer
8. "No man, a kicker is nobody I even pay attention to on the field. Waste of my time." – Redskins cornerback Carlos Rogers, when asked if he had ever fought a kicker
7. "This year will be different because I won't be caught up looking at all the stars in the stands. Well, unless I see Beyonce out there." – Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas on the NBA All-Star Game in Las Vegas
6. "He's chasing history. Whoop-dee-doo." – Dmitri Young on the Nationals' impending date with Barry Bonds 5. "I drink beers before the game, and then I go to play hockey. That's why I do some crazy moves, because I'm drunk." – Capitals forward Alex Ovechkin, joking (presumably) about his pregame rituals
4. "It's Valentine's Day. We're in love with each other." - Wizards Coach Eddie Jordan on the team’s mood
3. “If he says, 'Clinton, I need you to run through that brick wall,’ and that brick wall, it’s hard to run through a brick wall, I’ve got to find a way to get as close as I can and dive over the top of this brick wall and tell him, ‘[Bleep], I made it over.’” – Redskins running back Clinton Portis on offensive coordinator Al Saunders ... I think?
2. “My swag was phenomenal.” – Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas on shooting a game-winner from 32 feet as time expired
1. "It was a pretty serious situation. I pray for his buttocks and his family." – Nationals GM Jim Bowden on Jesus Colome’s injury

Courtesy of Lindsay Applebaum, The Washington Post, 12.27.07

Going "Back"

Winston-Salem, NC -- The days following Christmas are usually marked by "returning" (gifts) and going "back" home or to work. The 52nd week of the year is also probably the least productive of the preceding fifty-one. Everyone is on vacation (at least in my office). So, I thought that it would be appropriate to shuffle through the ol' ipod and find some songs featuring the word, "back."

After a crisp 5 hour, 17 minute commute covering 314 miles from Ashton, MD to Greensboro, NC last night, I need some tunes to get me back in the working mode. As always, your suggestions are better than mine, so please feel free to chime in. Here's what I have:

• The Pretenders - "Back on the Chain Gang" -- a classic on DC's Arrow 94.7 back in the day
• Aerosmith - "Back in the Saddle" -- probably Aerosmith's best song performed live
• Oasis - "Don't Look Back in Anger" -- the song heard after the popular hit "Wonderwall" on the "What's the Story (Morning Glory)?" album
• AC/DC - "Back in Black" -- a headbanger's dream
• The Beatles - "Get Back" & "I'll Be Back" -- two out of a thousand Beatles' classics
• Amy Winehouse - "Back to Black" -- a very talented artist that will eventually go to waste
• R.E.M. - "Don't Go Back To Rockville" -- just found out that this song was written by guitarist Mike Mills, telling his girlfriend not to go back to Rockville, MD
• Matchbox 20 - "Back to Good" -- a hidden song on the album with Push and 3 a.m.
• Steve Winwood - "Back in the High Life Again" -- not too familar with this song
• Tom Petty - "I Won't Back Down" -- a Petty classic

While we're on the topic of road trips and going back home, what's the best "in-car food?"

a) McDonald's Fries.

b) Taco Bell.

c) Popcorn and/or Trail Mix.

d) Candy bars.

e) French Onion Soup.

Cleaning Out The Notebook

Ashton, MD -- I'm shuffling through the notebook this afternoon, cleaning out any unused topics before the 2007 year comes to a close. Some random thoughts:

• Are the Redskins trying to replicate the 2005 season's finish? One more win on this Sunday versus our arch-rival Dallas would give us 9 wins and good enough for the final Wild Card spot. Just one win either against the Bills, Bucs, Eagles, Packers, or Giants would allow us to relax going into the final week of the season. However, I think Gibbs had his best coaching game of Gibbs II against the Vikings. The "12 men on the field" challenge was brilliant.
• If Roger Clemens did not take steroids, then why would his trainer Brian McNamee rat out Andy Pettitte (who admitted taking hGH) and lie about Clemens?
• Check out the Dave Mathews Band's Live from Piedmont Park (Atlanta) DVD from this past September. Those talented guys know how to play so effortlessly.
• Looking forward to U2's new album in 2008. They average 4 years to produce a new album nowadays.
• Any new music suggestions, please send them my way.

And finally, my last "B's Bistro" poll question of the year...

What's the best Christmas song ever?

a) The Christmas Song (Chestnuts) by Nat King Cole.

b) Blue Christmas by Elvis.

c) Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives.

d) White Christmas by Bung Crosby.

e) The Channukah Song by Adam Sandler.

Season's Greetings!

College vs. NFL Coaches

Greensboro, NC -- Last week, Bobby Petrino quit on his team, the Atlanta Falcons, and ran off to accept the University of Arkansas's head coach position. I've noticed an increasing trend among hot-shot college coaches testing their skills in the NFL, then departing after a season or two, only to run back to college.

Recently, the list of failed college coaches includes:

• Bobby Petrino: Louisville, Falcons, Arkansas
• Nick Saban: LSU, Dolphins, Alabama
• Steve Spurrier: Florida, Redskins, South Carolina
• Butch Davis: Miami, Browns, North Carolina
• Dennis Erickson: Washington, Seahawks, 49ers, Arizona State

Look, not only have these coaches had zero experience in the NFL prior to their first gig, but each of them if offensively minded. And, as Spurrier confirmed in Washington, the Fun' n' Gun doesn't work at the professional level. Defenses are too quick and more intelligent than your average college football team. As we've seen across the board with the successful teams, they have hired a defensively minded coach. Most of the coaches that I'm referring to here were defensive coordinators in the NFL at some point.

• Bill Belichek, NE
• Jack Del Rio, Jacksonville
• Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh
• Lovie Smith, Chicago
• Wade Phillips, Dallas
• John Fox, Carolina
• Jeff Fisher, Tennessee
• Romeo Crennel, Cleveland
• Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati

When Petrino took over the Falcons during training camp, he placed a list of 5 inspirational quotes outside the locker room that were supposed to rejuvenate players as they left for the field. The fourth quote read, "Always Finish." That's advice that Petrino didn't take.

Playing devil's advocate: The NFL is a "business," right? Employees leave jobs all of the time for a better paying job. Isn't that what Petrino did in this case? He left because he was unhappy at his old job. Can we fault him for that?

B's Bistro asks...

Winston-Salem, NC -- B's Bistro asks...

What gift have you never gotten?

a) A pony.
b) A cool ten-speed Schwinn bike.
c) Cash... just give me cash!

Busted

Greensboro, NC -- In the early part of summer 2005, I attended an Orioles' game versus the Tigers at Camden Yards. The highlight of the game wasn't any one play on the field. Following the game, a bunch of us went to grab a burger at Johnny Rocket's at the Inner Harbor place. Brendan, wearing his Dylan Hall dorm house intramural shirt, was called out by a restaurant patron for be a Tigers' fan. The "D" (for Dylan) on Brendan's shirt mirrored the Detroit Tiger's "D" found on their caps and home jerseys.

Anyways, during the game, I was chatting with a casual fan sitting next to me on various baseball topics. With Jay Gibbons up to bat, my new friend uttered, "Lay off the juice, Gibbons!" I asked him if he really thought that Gibbons was using steroids, to which he replied, "yes!" Looking at the sculpting of his arms that day flicking the bat, I quickly realized what he was talking about. No matter how many weights he lifts, protein or creatine consumed, his body sculpture was completely unnatural.

I'm as sick as anyone about the linkage between steroids and baseball. The story got old about two years ago. But what is so damning about the Gibbons bust is his path of lying.

Aug. 2005 (after Palmeiro was caught): "Not one person has come out and said, 'Yeah, I took steroids.' I don't know, is everybody telling the truth? Something's got to give here eventually."

Nov. 2005: "We want to end the problem now and get back to playing ball and not worrying about steroids every day."

Nov. 2006: " have passed every test administered by Major League Baseball over all the years. I have never taken anabolic steroids. And I am not going to dignify these claims and accusations with any further response."

And now yesterday: "I am deeply sorry for the mistakes that I have made. I have no excuses and bear sole responsibility for my decisions. Years ago, I relied on the advice of a doctor, filled a prescription, charged the hGH, which is a medication, to my credit card and had only intended to help speed my recovery from my injuries and surgeries."

If Gibbons was a baseball "good guy," who can we believe going forward? Gibbons gave back to the community, signed autographs while on a rehab assignment in Class-A Frederick (I was the official statistician of that game), and until now, he was a great story being a Rule V pick out of nowhere. He parlayed several productive seasons as the cleanup hitter of awful early-2000 teams into a 4 year, $21M contract before the start of the 2006 season. Just another example of another athlete that we cannot believe -- and another fatal management error of the Orioles' front office.

Bowden's Moves Razzle & Dazzle

Greensboro, NC -- Since the MLB hired Jim Bowden to run the Nationals following their move to DC in the fall of 2004, Bowden has definitely grown on me. I had a perception of him being a trigger-friendly fantasy baseball player-esque type GM. To the contrary, he has "developed" into the GM that I like: build around the draft, make shrewd trades, and use free agency only as a stopgap.

Recapping some of Bowden's Trades:

• J. Rivera for Guillen
• T. Kim for J. Spivey
• Day for P. Wilson
• Wilkerson for Soriano
• Majewski, Bray, Clayton for Kearns, Lopez, Wagner
• A bag of balls for Pena
• Schneider, Church for Milledge
• (Prospect) Gibson for Dukes

Stopgap Free Agent Signings:

• D. Young -- obtained for pennies on the dollar
• N. Logan
• R. King

When he tries to sign a player to a long-term deal, that's when Bowden runs into problems:

• C. Guzman
• V. Castilla
• N. Johnson (for injury reasons)
• Schneider (now traded)

Bowden absolutely fleeced the Mets for Milledge. I remember last year that Minaya wouldn't trade Milledge for Zito during the trading deadline. Maybe the Mets would have a '06 banner in Shea had the deal been made.

Here's "Capitol Punishment's" Chris Needham's take on the acquisition of Elijah Dukes:

"In a pure talent sense, it's a solid swap.
I'm not especially high on Gibson's long-term potential, thinking that he's
putting up stats with excellent command of mediocre stuff.
But the stathead side of me is superseded by the fanboy side. Any player whose Wikipedia
profile needs a separate off-field issues section is one you've gotta be careful of. And
it's a player I'm going to take no joy in rooting for."

And Rob Neyer adds this:

"I guess I'm an idiot, because the trade for Dukes seems to me right in
line with the signing of Dmitri Young and the acquisition of Lastings Milledge.
Yes, Dukes is in a class of his own. I understand that. But all three players
came with particular sorts of baggage; not coincidentally, all three suffered
dramatic drops in perceived value within a short period of time."

Also, it doesn't hurt that I got to meet Bowden last summer (June 2006) in Boston and he posed for a quick photo:

What the Dukes trade a wise decision?

New Uni's

Greensboro, NC -- One of my "secret indulgences" that I partake in online is a running blog called "Uni Watch" by Paul Lukas. This blog is updated every time a professional or collegiate sports team changes their uniform or alters it slightly. Picture examples are usually provided. However, I'm going to beat "Uni Watch" to the punch because I discovered that three teams have already introduced a new "alternate" jersey for the 2008 season. Off the top of my head, excluding the traditional teams such as the Cardinals, Dodgers, and Yankees, every team has an alternate (third) jersey. Both the Blue Jays and Royals are bringing back the popular retro color "powder blue" to their jerseys. Home Run Derby's Richie Rich has the breakdown here:

"In 2008, the Toronto Blue Jays and Kansas City Royals are going to do something that no baseball team has done since 1991.

They're going to break out the Powder Blue Uniforms. Mind you -- they'll only occasionally be used as home alternate uniforms, but that's a feat in and of itself. I don't think anyone's ever worn the powder blue in their home stadium before.

The Royals will be wearing blue shirts (with white pants) while the Blue Jays will go completely retro and bust out the baby blue from head to toe. The Jays will also bring back their old logo, a pullover jersey, and their old two-color cap. I have one of those hats. I love it.

Considering that we haven't seen the powder blue for the last sixteen seasons (and the fact that no one under the age of 21 likely has any memory of powder blue baseball), let's take a trip down memory lane and revisit the teams that dared ... to wear blue"

The Denver Nuggets have made this "retro" color very popular in today's modern culture. While searching for some baseball news earlier this week, the Philadelphia Phillies are adding a new alternative uniform as well, to be worn on Sunday home games. The uniform slightly tweaks their current one; the pinstripes are removed and the caps are blue, giving it an "old new" look.

Ok, so which of these three new uni's do you like the best?

The Sean Taylor Case

Greensboro, NC -- I actually met Sean Taylor at Redskins Training Camp during the summer of 2004. He was a nice, but quiet guy. I remember that he had a large tattoo going around his neck as if it were a permanent necklace. An extremely large man, I can see why wide receivers go the opposite direction when contact is made with him. Nevertheless, all it takes is 9 mm of sheer metal to end this gifted athlete's life. With four suspects in custody as of this writing, the remaining debate in the case is whether Taylor was a victim of a burglary or a planned attack.

The burglary vs. planned attack dilemma befuddles me. Isn't a burglary a planned attack? If one and two are both the same, wouldn't the number of years sentenced be the same as well? Here's what I think what happened... Taylor's family friend threw a party at his mansion behind his back while he was feasting on turkey back in DC. At least two of these four thugs probably attended the party and saw the lavish possessions of Taylor's in his house. With Taylor expected to be in DC on Monday morning for workouts, Sunday night would be the least likely time that he wouldn't be home. The burglary is planned and executed until they see Taylor in his bedroom with a machette. Shots fired. That would be my guess.

Why else would these individuals return to his estate in the middle of the night? Jealousy, precious medallions, and cash could all be factors. But what if the average NFL player earned the average salary of any other U.S. job? What if a star NFL player earned the same amount as a star player of a major company? The answer to the latter question is quite vague depending on the company. Could be $75,000 - $2,000,000 for example. You don't need an education to play football. What you need is body with physical gifts that only several thousand people on this planet possess. That's what you're paid for. What if Taylor had been making a typical salary for a job for someone right out of college? $15K-$75K? Would these hoodlums be looting his house if he were making that kind of dough? Probably not. But that's one of the many downfalls of professional sports (and in life); money -- and therefore, greed.

B's Bistro asks...

Winston-Salem, NC -- I promise to update the blog over the weekend; it's been a very busy week at the office, especially after returning from a mini vacation last week. I do have some juicy topics that will perk your interests. In the meantime, I have another poll (with a completely random question) to conduct.

B's Bistro asks...

What gives the worst breath?

a) Dorito
b) Garlic
c) Cigarette
d) Onions
e) Beer

B's Bistro asks...

Winston-Salem, NC -- B's Bistro asks...

What's your favorite way to eat leftover turkey?

a) A big ol' turkey and stuffing sandwich.
b) Cold off the plate.
c) Turkey Tetrazzini.
d) What leftovers? We ate it all!

Rock Rivals

Greensboro, NC -- If you're from the DC area, you know that when the Redskins play the Cowboys twice a year, it is referred to as "Dallas week." It's accompanied by a little anxiety and an adrenaline rush by Saturday. For non-Skins fans, that means "rivalry week." Engaged in epic battles since 1960, the Redskins and Cowboys are bitter foes. My one experience watching this rivalry live occurred during the last game of the 2002 season. Both teams were awful that year, yet it felt like the Skins clinched a playoff birth by defeating the Cowboys 20-14. Following the game, I had the opportunity to shake Darrell Green's hand in what was his final football game. A special thanks goes to the dream holder season ticket holder who felt sorry for the college kid with 40 bucks in his pocket.

There are some rivals squaring off this weekend as well in the college ranks, most notably Michigan and Ohio State. I thought that it would be appropriate (and fun) to name a few bands who could be considered foes on stage, in the recording studios, or in record sales. On August 22nd of this year, Kanye West and Justin Timberlake [Ed. Note: 50 Cent, not Timberlake] both released albums on that day. There was a competition to see who would sell more. There's my first rivalry. Here's the rest...

• U2 and R.E.M. -- 2 great bands from the same decades. 4-man bands. Same number of albums. Somehow, they're always paired together.
• Lynard Skynard and The Allman Brothers -- The battle of southern rock.
• In Sync and The Backstreet Boys -- The battle of awful boy bands from the 90's.
• The Who and Led Zeppelin -- British rock.
• The Beatles and The Rolling Stones (and The Beach Boys) -- Talk about legacies...
• Blur and Oasis - The battle of British pop.
• Phish and Widespread Panic -- hippy music.
• Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera -- The battle of two people who shouldn't have kids.
• Moby and Eminem
• George Harrison and Eric Clapton -- friend or foe?
• Pearl Jam and Nirvana -- The battle of Seattle grunge.
• Kiss and Van Halen -- Two over-the-hill bands.
• Radiohead and Coldplay -- Two bands who want to be U2.
• 2Pac and Biggie -- The Bistro doesn't discriminate genres.
• The Rolling Stones and The Kinks -- Can you have more than one rival?
• Billy Joel and Elton John -- No comment.
• The Go-Go's and The Bangles.
• Neil Young and Lynard Skynard -- Two real rivals.
• Metallica and Napster -- Oh come on, that's funny!

Alright, there's what I could come up with right now. As always, your suggestions are better than mine.

Midseason Marks

Greensboro, NC -- It's time for some musings on the relevant teams. With a shaky 5-4 record, the Redskins are about to fall back to .500 with "Dallas week" ahead of them. Yes, the Skins have an easy schedule this year, but losses to an over-the-hill Eagles team in the 4th quarter shouldn't happen. Somebody should be fired for that loss -- the Skins have enough coaches to let one loose.

The Cowboys are better than what I thought that they would be. I'm not a fan of coaching changes -- I think it can derail offensive and defensive continuity. It's kind of shocking that Dallas is right behind the Pats in total offense. Who would have thought that a rookie offensive coordinator would be in that position? Then again, I remember over the summer that Jerry Jones was contemplating the hire of Jason Garrett as head coach. Garrett always came in for mop-up duty after Aikman slaughtered the other team. I always hated when he played.

Is Bill Belichek the new evil empire of the NFL? With the cheating incident, running up the scores, and his abrasive demeanor, do teams now see him as the league's villain? It wasn't too long ago that they were the heavy underdogs in Super Bowl XXXVI.

Teams that I thought would be better: Saints, 49ers, Rams, Dolphins, Jets, Ravens, Broncos
Teams that I thought would be worse: Browns, Lions, Packers, Texans, Cowboys, Raiders

Expected: Chargers -- Call it "The Norv Turner Effect"
Chiefs -- A good coach, but no QB
Falcons -- They were doomed before training camp

Stay tuned for that Pittsburgh-New England game during week 14. The Pats could be 12-0 at that time and that's usually the week when undefeated teams lose their first.

One of these days, somebody needs to do an analysis of building a football team; free agency vs. the draft. I'm a huge proponent of the draft, especially after reading John Fienstein's "Next Man Up." This book takes you through a season with the Ravens, and if there's a need to fill, the draft is the number one source. The Pats rely on free agency (more so recently), and the Colts utilize the draft. The Redskins don't know what the draft is. I really value the model of the Ravens despite their down-year. If the Redskins could stop throwing away draft picks like they're an unwanted flyer, we might have something.

The Great Pick 'em Dilemma

Winston-Salem, NC -- Who won week nine in the famous "Football Pick 'em Pool?" Here's the scenario for everyone to argue and voice their opinion:

Friday, November 2nd

• 3:13 p.m. - Monty e-mails his picks for week 8.

Sunday, November 4th

• Approximately 10:15 a.m. - The Commissioner begins compiling everyone's picks.
• 10:31 a.m. - The Commissioner notifies Monty that he turned in the wrong picks.
• 1:00 p.m. - The first couple of games kick-off.
• 1:13 p.m. - The chart is distributed to the group.
• 1:22 p.m. - Monty and Kevin both turn in their week 9 picks.

Monday, November 5th

• 7:50 p.m. - Kevin e-mails the Commissioner and says, "I'll take the home teams then -- rules are rules."

As Commissioner, it is my duty to enforce the rules and regulations of this pool. I do not make-up rules "on the spot." In this particular instance, I referred to the "Football Pick'em Official Rulebook."

Article I, Section I states: "All players must turn in their picks before the first kick-off of that particular week."

Article IV, Section II states: "A player may change his/her picks asmany times as possible before the pre-set deadline." The deadline was determined at the start of the season to be 1:00 p.m. on Sundays except when a Thursday or Saturday game occurs.

Further...

Article VII, Section I states: "The Commissioner does not have the obligation to remind any player to turn in their picks under any circumstances."

Monty even had 2 hours and 29 minutes to revise his picks!

After further review, the call still stands -- Barb takes home the cake, while Brice receives a small portion as the Monday night winner. Now tell me, how is my ruling incorrect?

B's Bistro asks...

Winston-Salem, NC -- B's Bistro asks...

Who would win in a spelling bee?

a. Superman
b. Wonder Woman
c. Ronald McDonald
d. Rick Flair

Kickball Re-visited

Winston-Salem, NC -- You finally thought that I ceased the blogs about our awesome kickball league? Well, our championship team received a small write-up in the local paper, "The Greensboro News & Record." See page 2 here for the official write-up and team photo!

I can attest to the article's reference about young adults being active and socializing. If your local city has a league of any kind -- kickball, softball, dodgeball, basketball, etc. -- get out and play.

I especially like the league's motto: "Kickball... it's not just for kids anymore!"

Hit the Panic Button (for once)

Winston-Salem, NC -- First, Happy Halloween! Second, and the topic of this blog, I found this article very interesting from Rob Neyer's blog on ESPN. I meant to post this topic on Friday, but free time has been difficult to find. Here's the context: it's Friday, October 26th and the Rockies are down two games to none to the Red Sox with the series shifting to Colorado.

I think of this all the time and it's my point: Why does every manager and coach, no matter the sport, always provide the same old answers when their team is trailing in a series: We're going to stay positive; We're going to keep our head's up; I'm not worried, I can only focus on our guys, etc. Why doesn't anyone PANIC and say, "Yes! I'm flat-out worried that we're going to get swept." But that's unacceptable behavior. Further, why do we have to start your #3 pitcher hoping he can get you through 6 innings? Why not go against the norm and piece together your 4 best pitchers? Anyways, here's Neyer's excerpt, which I completely agree with; I'm glad somebody on the national level brought up this idea...

Clint Hurdle has two problems.
Problem 1 is that his Rockies are not nearly as good as the Red Sox.
Problem 2 -- a subset of Problem 1 -- is that his pitchers can't through five innings without throwing 100 pitches, and the last 20-30 of those not necessarily with any particular effectiveness.
Of course there's nothing Hurdle can do about Problem 1. Not on such short notice. But if he doesn't worry about Problem 2 -- if he doesn't panic -- he's not going to win four of those next five games.
If there was ever a time for Hurdle to panic, it's now.
I know he's not going to panic. It's not considered appropriate behavior for a man of his station. But let's just suppose for a moment. Let's suppose that Hurdle panics, and loses. Nobody would hold it against him; everyone thinks he's going to lose anyway. Let's suppose that Hurdle panics, and wins. Wouldn't he immediately be hailed as one of the great managers of our time?
So if Hurdle were to panic, what would he do? He would throw out the standard model -- open the next game with your best available starting pitcher, and use him until he's obviously fatigued -- and replace it with something nobody's ever seen before. It's fairly clear that his starting pitchers are not going to give him more than four or five innings, and that he'll be forced to use his relievers for at least half the game. So why not make that the model?
Why not ask the starting pitcher for three or four innings, and no more? As things stand now, the starting pitcher is the centerpiece of Hurdle's pitching plans. That's necessary during the regular season, when days off are rare and most teams have only two or three reliable relief pitchers. But the next six days of the World Series -- if it goes the distance -- include two days of rest, and this season Hurdle probably enjoyed the services of more reliable relievers than any other manager in the majors. Why not get them into the game when you want to get them into the game, rather than when you have to?" -- Rob Neyer, 10/26/07, ESPN.com.

Now that we know the outcome, I'm not if panicking could have saved the Rockies. But will we ever see an manager or coach call out his team again or are those days long gone? The coaches that have done this (Jim Mora's playoffs?! playoffs?!) were immediately excused from their position. Of course the Colts have been an elite team since Mora's last season at the helm.

B's Bistro asks...

Winston-Salem, NC -- B's Bistro asks...

Who's the coolest muppet?

a. Kermit
b. Yoda
c. Animal
d. Gonzo
e. Elmo

Pet Peeves

Winston-Salem, NC -- With a daily commute spanning across roughly 15 miles of highway, it's easy to get stuck behind a driver who doesn't know the rules. In addition to the numerous driving laws for your safety, there are also several unwritten rules of etiquette. One of those rules, and my personal pet peeve, is violated when a driver hovers around or below the speed limit in the left lane. The left lane should only be used to pass people, not pitching camp. This peeve reaches its boiling point when the right lane(s) is occupied as well, therefore preventing any passing. So people, please, get out of the left lane unless you're passing somebody!

I'm trying to discover the craziest pet peeve among the audience. Other pet peeves of mine include:

• Hair. I can't stand it unless it's on your head and in place.
• Cap off the toothpaste tube. I just picture a bug crawling up there, then when I brush my teeth at night, it's guts are spread over my white pearls.
• Wet armpits. The only thing I hate about playing sports in the summer.
• Turn signals. Not using them on a busy/fast street. I hate the last minute slowdown and turn off when traffic was flowing effortlessly.
• Cell phones in public. People cannot drive when talking on the cell phone. Also, people tend to talk louder than normal for no specific reason.
• Bicyclists in the road. Another annoying driving pet peeve.

As you can see, most of my peeves revolve around the roads. Give me some of yours...

Rox n' Sox

Winston-Salem, NC -- The Red Sox sure are lucky escaping that exciting series with the Indians. The Sox looked dead, trailing 3 games to 1 with Sabathia and Carmona slated to pitch games 5 and 6. There's no denying that Josh Beckett personally lifted the Sox out of the rubble in game five. The Indians have now taken over the ownership of "The Curse" in the American League. It's now been 59 years since The Tribe has won the Series. Who/what can we blame?

• The Tribe's aces: Sabathia and Carmona both layed eggs in the ALCS. If one of these pitchers threw well in ONE of their starts, the Indians would be hosting the World Series.
• Joel Skinner, the 3B Coach, who halted Lofton on the basepaths when he could have easily scored the potential tying run at the time. The momentum definitely would have shifted there. However, it went the other way when the next batter, Casey Blake, bounched into a double play.
• Grady Sizemore, who was a non-factor in the entire series.
• Chief Wahoo! Until the Indians discard this cartoon on their caps, they will be cursed!

At least the Tribe played their best against the Yanks.

Here's my prediction for the World Series -- I want to step out of the box, but I can't. I like the Rox in Colorado, especially with Wakefield pitching there in game four. Beckett and Schilling win in Boston. The Rox proceed to clobber Dice-K and Wakefield in Colorado. Beckett comes back to pitch well in game 5. Then, Schilling closes the door in Boston; Red Sox 4-2.

BTW -- I picked the Red Sox to win the World Series back in March due to their superior starting pitching and bullpen.

The Price of Gold

Winston-Salem, NC -- The weeklong City of Greensboro Kickball Tournament finally came to a close last night with a happy ending. My team, "The Ball Busters" just completed a Colorado Rockies-esque run to become the city champions of kickball! Here's our journey through this 6 team tournament:

• Ball Busters defeated Synergy 8-2 in the Opening Round on Monday.
• Ball Busters defeated top seeded Red Rockets 5-4 in the Quarterfinals on Tuesday.
• Ball Busters defeated the newly top seeded Crush 7-6 in the Semifinals on Wednesday.
• Ball Busters defeated Crush again 9-8 in 11 innings to become the Kickball Champions on Thursday.

It's a double elimination tournament, so Crush was able to knock out Synergy in the losing bracket prior to Thursday's prime time game.

Last night's game was one of the most exciting games that I've ever played in. Here's a short summary of how the runs were scored.

• A 2-2 chessmatch through 6 1/2 innings.
• Crush scored 5 runs in the bottom of the 7th to take a 7-2 lead.
• Ball Busters scored 3 in the 8th to close the lead to 7-5.
• Ball Busters pushed 3 more across the plate in the 9th to take the lead, 8-7.
• With two outs, Crush tacked on a run to make it 8-8.
• In the top of the 10th, Ball Busters put one on the board.
• With the bases loaded and 2 outs, Crush matched that run in the bottom of the 10th. The next play resulted in an extremely close force-out at home plate.
• Ball Busters were able to manage one more run in the top of the 11th, 9-8.
• Crush goes quietly in the bottom of the 11th and a pile of Ball Busters is formed on the pitcher's mound. While jumping up to hug and high five a teammate, I landed awkwardly on my leg, slightly pulling my upper quad. No worries, there's no game tomorrow.

In that dramatic bottom of the 10th with the bases loaded and 1 out, a ball was kicked beyond second base. Already nursing two severely scraped knees and right arm, I dove for the ball and trapped it, preventing the runner on second from scoring. The next play resulted in a pop-up making it two outs. Crush was able to bunt a run in before we were able to get out of the jam. Unfortunately, the scrapes have extended down my legs, down my arm to my elbow, and on a spot on top of my shoulder. Don't forget about the 5 games that I missed due to that left leg contusion. We peaked at the right time and we're going home with a bunch of bruises -- and the gold!

The A-Rod Dilemma

Winston-Salem, NC -- The hottest topic in baseball right now isn't the league championship series taking place in Cleveland tonight. Whether it's the entourage of the New York media or the attraction of numerous dollar signs, A-Rod and his pending "out-clause" have dominated the sports headlines. A-Rod couldn't have had a better regular season before entering the free agent market. He just concluded the 7th year of his whopping 10 year, $252M contract -- still a record seven years later. In this 10 year contract, A-Rod has an "out-clause that allows him to void the contract after the seventh season if he desires. "I read in John Schuerholz's book, "Built To Win" that the Braves were the second highest bidder that winter in the A-Rod sweepstakes. The Braves offer was for 10 years and $126M -- exactly half the amount of money that A-Rod received. The optimal solution, as a Yankees hater, would be for A-Rod to "opt-out" and receive far less (expected) money from another team. The worst solution would be for him to not opt-out and remain with the Yankees. I'm sure that Texas Rangers owner, Tom Hicks, would agree with me on that last statement as he is on the books for a $19M subsidy to the Yankees for the final three years.

The oddest thing that I've heard/read about this scenario is that the Pittsburgh Pirates may be involved in the bidding! If he does opt-out, I think A-Rod will end-up with one of the teams from Los Angeles. The Dodgers really could use a marquee player to market their team around and add some stability to that lineup stuffed with talented rookies. Not to mention, they could use a bat in that weak lineup.

After reading the great Buster Olney's blog this morning, I completely agree with him on how this situation will play out:

"I expect Alex/Boras to present NYY with a figure (Alex will sign for this now without testing the market -- a one-time opportunity for you guys to have exclusive rights -- or he's going to test the market and you can bid like everyone else, but without Texas' subsidy.') Yanks either bite down at that figure, or they don't and Alex is a FA. The real question is whether they can stick to their guns and not bid at that point. A marquee free agent without the Yanks as a buyer is not in the strongest position."

In Need of Some Water

Winston-Salem, NC -- Down South here in North Carolina, spreading to Georgia, we are experiencing a major drought. It's so bad that our personal water usage may be monitored by the state government if we don't receive any rain this week. Although, I heard from a planting expert today that it's still ok to plant shrubs and trees in a drought. You just have to water them yourself. (FYI: The fall season is the best time to plant.) As you can see below, we are in a "severe hydrologic drought" and in some dire need of H2O.



Since I haven't done a music blog in awhile, I thought that it would be appropriate to do "water / drought" songs. Here's a list of songs off-hand that will hopefully bring us some rain this weekend. Otherwise, my office may reek of a naturalist's cave next week.

• Meat Puppets - "Backwater" - This song bleeds the 1990's.
• Elton John - "Madman Across The Water" - Not one of EJ's well-known hits.
• Blind Melon - "No Rain" - Probably a top 10 song from the 1990's and a "1-hit wonder."
• Garbage - "Only Happy When It Rains" - Rockin' the 90's in this countdown; another great band from that era.
• U2 - "Summer Rain" - I paid $1 extra at a music shop in Covington, GA to obtain this "hidden" track on the All That You Can't Leave Behind album.
• Dave Mathews Band - "Don't Drink The Water" - I still classify this song as new DMB.
• Eddie Money - "Give Me Some Water" - The title of this song couldn't fit the message more.
• Melissa Ethridge - "Bring Me Some Water" - Ditto on this one.
• TLC - "Waterfalls" - Quite possibly the worst song in 1990's.
• Van Morrison - "And It Stoned Me" - You need to listen to the song to know how it applies to this list.
• Jars of Clay - "Flood" - A very good song that nobody knows about.

Since your suggestions are always better than mine, see if you can add to this list.

The Schuerholz Effect

Winston-Salem, NC -- Some surprising news occurred yesterday when the Atlanta Braves GM John Schuerholz stepped down from his post after 17 years. During this past summer, I read Schuerholz's autobiography, Built To Win, a neat book that outlines all of the mundane tasks of a baseball general manager. The chapter that I took away from the book featured a segment on how to deal with player agents. Players add their talents and skills to the game and deserve to get paid for them, the front office's job is to place the best product on the field and create the ultimate fan experience and thereby deserve to get paid; what do agents do in order to take from baseball's money pot?

As a Braves' fan, this is a huge loss to the organization. However, while being promoted to "President of Baseball Operations, Schuerholz will still have his fingerprints all over this operation. Prior to Schuerholz's arrival, the Braves were the laughingstock of baseball. Following his departure and 14 division championships later, the Braves are still the class act of the National League.

Here's some evidence showing why Schuerholz was the best GM since (Hank Peters or) Branch Rickey. During his 17 year reign as GM, the Braves won 170 more games than the next best team, the Cardinals. So, if the Braves didn't win a game next year and the Cardinals went undefeated, the Braves would still have a better record than the Cardinals over 18 years!

Schuerholz's successor, Frank Wren, is a familiar name to Mid-Atlantic baseball fans. During the 1999 season, Wren was the GM of the Orioles, only to be fired after the season for clashing with Mr. Angelos. Throughout his book, Schuerholz credits and praises the negotiating skills and talent evaluating ability of Wren (the Assistant GM). I wonder where the O's would be if Wren continued on as their GM?

Schuerholz's reign as GM of the Braves illustrates an important point in all front offices. When you have stability and little turnover from season-to-season, a team is able to foster the principles displayed by its leader. Schuerholz has demonstrated impeccable leadership skills by listening and trusting his scouts, not budging on salary negotiations (it should be a privilege to play for the Braves), by giving up talent to acquire a big talent (see the Salty-Teixeira and Hudson-Meyer trades) and by filling a "need" through the draft and farm system (compared to signing an aging veteran -- see the O's). The Braves and MLB have lost a class act.

An Ode To Big Johnny

Winston-Salem, NC -- The world lost a good man last week in (Big) John(ny) Barnard. Growing up, when you're in those awkward teenage years, interaction between a friend's parent and yourself is pretentious at best. But an awkward situation never arose between "Big Johnny" and me. I think, secretly, he enjoyed hanging out with our group of friends. We could always talk sports -- mostly baseball and football -- probably because we pulled for the same teams; the Orioles, then later on the Nats, and the Redskins. A 7-11 Big Gulp could usually be found in his right hand during the games, on travel, or working at his "home" office, a la the dining room table until 4:00 a.m. Jason and I couldn't pull any pranks because Big Johnny was on the prowl late into the night. Anyway, this short blog doesn't come close to summing up my experiences with Big Johnny. Here are some of my favorite "Big Johnny" moments:

• After us whipper-snappers set off some fireworks during the first trip to the Ocean City beachhouse, Big Johnny trys to show everyone who's boss with some omnipotent fireworks of his own. Trying to one up us, Big Johnny lights the fireworks in the adjacent field, except one firecracker goes astray, setting the entire field on fire. Big Johnny leaps the fence (moving like his pants were on fire), grabs the hose, and begins to stomp and spray the field out.
• I commented to Big Johnny his fondness for hot dogs. When I asked him where you could obtain the ideal, best, juiciest dog, his response was "Oh, that's at that little mobile stand at the Home Depot."
• Big Johnny was helping Jason move out of his dorm at Salisbury (State) University one year. They were able to get most of Jason's belongings packed; however, they ran out of daylight to move them. Big Johnny, not wanting to drive back to Ocean City that night and then return in the morning, simply took Jason's nasty, dirty laundry, sprawled it out over the floor, and lied down on it to sleep.
• This list has to include a golfing story. Big Johnny claimed to be some "expert" golfer. The only time "expert," "golfer," and "Big Johnny" can be in the same sentence should be in reference to his line-drive swings. No matter what the terrain may be, Big Johnny's shot will follow the hills, valleys, and water traveling approximately 3 feet off the ground like a "lazer." Last fall, when we played at Sligo, Big Johnny hit his patent line drive shot that followed a 50 foot valley. The ball went down the valley (in the air), hit a bridge post at the bottom, then shot back toward us and landed 25 feet to the right of the tee box. Big Johnny walked over, picked up the ball, walked back, swatted a line drive down the fairway, and acted like nothing happened. A roar of laughter ensued.
• The first time that we played golf in Ocean City, Big Johnny's tee shot wandered far to the left near the driving range. Big Johnny walked over in pursuit of his golf ball, but it was on the other side of some small pine trees. After 5-10 minutes of being "lost," Big Johnny returned to the edge of the fairway only to find his ball. Only his pair of sweatpant shorts were stuffed with driving range balls.
• After giving me gripe for having my lawn mower settings too high and cutting the lines diagonally in high school, Big Johnny feared that his lawn would "burn out." I later told Big Johnny that somebody called my yard "Camden Yards" as they were driving by. A week later, I became his full-time lawn boy for the front yard. That yard looked exceptional with those diagonal lines.
• I'm not sure if this last one was true, but I'll tell it anyway. Since Big Johnny worked at home, his path often crossed ours during our summers in high school. Everyone who knew Big Johnny knows that he's a big-time talker. Well, that all of that talking (whatever it was about) finally got on Jason's nerves. Jason, plotting to do something to shut Big Johnny up, came up with a plan. Jason snuck a laxative into Big Johnny's spaghetti and meat balls that #5 made. Consequently, Big Johnny spent the rest of the day and night on the toilet, only talking to himself.

There are too many stories for today's blog. I'm sure that the readers who knew "Big Johnny" could add their own arsenal here all day long as well. You the man, Big Johnny!

B's Baseball Awards

Winston-Salem, NC -- It was a good season for baseball; however, it definitely wasn't my favorite. There were too many milestones and one of them in particular was ridiculous. I was crossing my fingers all season that the Yankees wouldn't make the playoffs, then crossing them harder that they wouldn't win the division.

Here are my regular season awards...
NL MVP: Matt Holliday, OF, COL -- When I went to a Rockies' game in Denver 2 years ago, I thought this guy would be a star in a few years. Would the Rockies have won 14 out of 15 and made the playoffs if it weren't for him?
AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez, 3B, NYY -- I hate giving it to a Yankee, but his gaudy numbers propelled the Yanks back into the playoffs for the 13th consecutive season. It was the offense that carried New York this year, not pitching -- the same thing that will haunt them this month in the playoffs.
NL Cy Young: Jake Peavy, SD -- He pitches in a "pitcher park," but having a sub 3.00 ERA with a high win count and a boatload of strikeouts sets him above the pack. Now only if he had one more good start in him last night the Pads would be in Philadelphia tomorrow.
AL Cy Young: C.C. Sabathia, CLE -- With ineffectiveness and injuries to the rest of the staff, Sabathia carried the Tribe to the central division crown. Now let's get another win against the Yanks in game one of the ALDS.
NL ROY: Troy Tulowitzski, SS, COL -- Along with Holliday, his surge in the second half spearheaded the Rocks to punching their ticket to the postseason. Those 24 HR's and 94 RBI's along with solid D can't hurt either.
AL ROY: Dustin Pedroia, 2B, BOS -- He filled in nicely at second for the Sox. That position has been a revolving door for them year-in and year-out.
NL Manager: Manny Acta, WSH -- The Nats were "supposed" to lose 110+ games. They won 4 more than the Orioles, along with a paltry $37M payroll. His upbeat attitude makes him a likely Bobby Cox-like fixture in DC for many years.
AL Manager: Joe Torre, NYY -- The guy looked dead in May and June. He kept his cool when everyone was piling on top of him. I'm not sure any other manager would have been able to handle his situation.

There you have it... agree? disagree?

A Cool Stat

Winston-Salem, NC -- As a stat geek, I found this snippet in today's paper very interesting. I will be posting my annual MVP and Cy Young Winner predictions after season's end. While the focus of the season, the playoff race, has reached its apex, there are some other great stories that have fallen through the cracks. At the top of that list has to be the Washington Nationals. The Nats were predicted by many to have one of the worst seasons in baseball history -- in the ballpark (no pun intended) of 110-120 losses. I predicted a 63-99 season based on their pitching staff comprised of cast-offs and spare parts. The Nats, as of today, have 72 wins! That's one more than last year when they had Alfonso Soriano, Livan Hernandez, Jose Guillen, Jose Vidro and a healthy Nick Johnson on the roster. What was the best move that the Nats made last offseason? Hiring Manny Acta -- the guy knows how to use the bullpen, effectively communicate with his players and coaching staff, and rarely throws a tantrum. It's time to "acta-vate" baby!

Anyways, check out this stat, dug out by the Elias Sports Bureau, and reported by the Washington Post's Barry Svrluga (9/28/07):

"The final start of the season for left-hander Matt Chico will bring the last chance for the Nationals to become a statistical oddity. Washington has employed 26 pitchers this season -- including 13 starters -- yet no one has more than Jon Rauch's eight wins.

Moreover, no one has more than Chico's nine losses. Thus, should Chico get a win or a no-decision (tonight) in Philadelphia and Rauch not pick up two wins in relief, the Nationals will finish with neither a 10-game winner nor a 10-game loser. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, that has never happened in a full season; it happened only in 1981 and '94, seasons shortened by labor strife."

The Art of Puking

Winston-Salem, NC -- On one of the great radio stations in the Piedmont Triad this morning, a discussion was held on the art of puking. I don't have too many personal stories in this subject matter. However, if you know me well, I'm sure you've been informed about the infamous red wine party during my junior year.

Several callers proceeded to share their unique stories over the radio waves. Thankfully, each story had a funny ending. I was worried that the session would be dominated with personal, bland stories of drinking too much, then pulling the trigger. To provide you with one example of a good story, one caller mentioned that he was a manager of a bank that neighbored a bar. In the mornings when he arrived to open the bank, the caller would often find puke covering his door and the ATM! The bank had to install an outside spicket to attach a hose for the frequent scrubbings. When I heard that story, I will always wash my hands after using the ATM from now on.

The topic was sparked by this YouTube clip. Watch it carefully -- it's a foreign game show host performing the infamous "puke n' rally." Leave it to the professionals to do that. Usually, I'm done moving for the day/night when it happens to me. This girl resumes her position after the deed -- what a champ!

If you have an unusual or funny story revolving around this topic, please share. You can click the "Anonymous" user tab to post.

Alliteration Tuesday

Greensboro, NC -- After returning home with some battle wounds from a ferocious night of "Tuesday Trivia," team "Campus Brewers" ended up victorious. I'm confident that a pack of high schoolers would dominate the field of 10 teams out there. Every Tuesday night, my favorite bar in Winston-Salem hosts team "Trivia night." Quick!... can you name the first three elements in the periodic table?

H, He, and a Nirvana song. That was tonight's first question. Spelling is sometimes mixed in. So, feeling nostalgic towards my high school lessons, I decided that we're long overdue for a music theme blog. Today's grammatical vocabulary word is "alliteration." The dictionary defines alliteration as: The commencement of two or more stressed syllables of a word group either with the same consonant sound or sound group (consonantal alliteration), as in from stem to stern, or with a vowel sound that may differ from syllable to syllable.

I've developed a list of certain band names that feature the use of an alliteration. Here goes:

• Foo Fighters
• Mighty Mouse
• Jack Johnson
• Counting Crows
• Thompson Twins
• Tom Tom Club
• Til Tuesday
• Tina Turner
• Blues Brothers
• Michael McDonald
• Robert Randolph & The Family Band
• Culture Club
• Jesus Jones
• Rusted Root

Quite a few good bands and quite a few bad bands. Have any of your own?

Football is back

Greensboro, NC -- It usually takes me a couple of weeks into the season to acquire the football season because the baseball pennant races are winding down at the same time. Living in the Southeast has its perks and benefits with the chief reason being the sports scene. A couple of observations from this past weekend:

• The SEC Conference is hands-down the best NCAA football conference.
• Just as Herbstreit and I predicted, Georgia took down Alabama on their home turf (in OT). The loss was Nick Saban's first in the crimson red.
• Florida is better than last year's championship team.
• One of the best football games that I've ever attended was this past Saturday's Wake Forest-Maryland game. With MD up 24-3 with 1:51 in the 3Q, the CB for Wake interecepted a pass in the endzone and ran it back 100+ yards for the score. With 4 seconds left, Wake would tie Maryland, then win it in OT; 31-24.
• Wake Forest will beat Vandy in November on the road.
• Keep an eye out for Michael Oher, LT from Ole Miss. He'll be the next Orlando Pace in the NFL in 2 years. Read his unbelievable story in "The Blind Side" (see the blog in June) and he will prevail.
• When the Giants scored a TD in the 3Q to bring the score to 17-10, a sick feeling came to my stomach when the Redskins went 3 and out.
• The Panthers took care of the woeful Falcons in a meaningless game. Check out DeAngelo Hall's blowup incident.
• If the Nats can defeat the Mets and Phillies on the road this week, the Braves still have a shot. However, the Wild Card is probably their best route at this point. The Rockies are smoking hot (oxymoron).
• NC State is the worst football team in the state.
• LSU will win the National Championship when it's all said n' done.

Fall, while not my favorite season, is one of the best times of the year for sports.

Dining out with The Wicker Show

Winston-Salem, NC -- This afternoon for lunch, we had the opportunity to chat with the crew from 98.7 Simon's "The Wicker Show." The reason why I enjoy this station especially is that they do not play the same 15 songs every hour, like every normal rock or country station. Instead, the set list is completely random, ranging from hip-hop rap to classic rock to country. Last week, a couple of us had the opportunity to meet the host of The Wicker Show, Jeff Wicker himself.

If you're in The Triad area, be sure to tune in between 6:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m. during the week to hear the crazy and creative stunts, games, and prizes on the show. A musical guest usually joins them on Fridays, along with the best storyteller in the world, "Tim Bob." While Jeff, Carmen, and Skip "The Prize Guy" are very talented, the show emphasizes listener interaction. Who would Skip The Prize Guy give prizes to if all they did was turn people away by talking about themselves?

I was hooked to the show when I first moved down here in January. In DC, I listened to 98.7 WMZQ Country quite frequently. During my initial drive to Carolina, I popped in a CD because the signals from radio stations began to fade. So, during my first drive in to work the following day, I turned on the radio and a song that I enjoyed was playing. I proceeded to keep the dial tuned in to 98.7 that morning and really enjoyed the DJ's of this morning show. Haven't stopped listening since.

While many people in TV and radio can be snobby, the Wicker Show falls at the opposite end of the spectrum. When discussing birthdays and look-alikes at last week's Simon Mixer, Jeff had to do an on-air drawing and said that he'd be right back. Usually, when someone (especially the emcee) is forced to leave a conversation like that, they never return. Jeff was back pronto after the drawing. Cool, laid back guy. So, I advise you to listen to their show every morning because they're down-to-earth people -- and jam out to the DJ-less blocks of music during the rest of the day! Thanks for the Wake Forest tickets, Jeff; Picnic in the Plaza with Carmen; and my black Simon t-shirt, Skip!

What to do with 756?

Winston-Salem, NC -- In recent news, the fan who caught Barry Bonds' record-breaking 756th homerun ball auctioned it off to clothes designer, Marc Ecko for a hair over $752,000. I'm sure you've seen the "Ecko" design on certain clothing. Ecko has set-up a website, vote756.com, which will allow the public to decide the fate of the sacred/tainted ball. Your options:

• Bestow It: Donate the ball to the Hall-of-Fame.
• Brand It: Burn an asterisk onto the ball with a branding iron, then send it to the Hall-of-Fame.
• Banish It: Put the ball on a rocket ship and launch it to outer space.

A recent quote on ESPN.com from a fan read, "I don't believe that even our own universe deserves such 'space junk'."

I can just see in the year 2027 that rays in the shape of asterisks will be shining down on our planet.

My first reaction was to "brand it." The record is forever embroidered in controversy. Would the HOF accept the ball with the * on it? But now, I sort of want to see it "banished." How will they shoot it into outer space? Will it be taken in the next NASA launch and then an astronaut just drops it on his evening spacewalk stroll?

What do you think should happen to the ball?

Pirate Talk

Winston-Salem, NC -- Folks, today is a very important day. September 19th is "International Talk Like A Pirate Day."

Does anyone have any pirate jokes? And no, please don't tell me a Bob Saget-esque joke:

Q. What's a pirates favorite letter?
A. Arrrrrgghh

Over and Out

Greensboro, NC -- I promise that this will be the last blog about my hamstring -- because I am out for several weeks. After 4 days of solid rest, I re-aggervated the hamstring during my first kick in Monday's game. We walked away with an easy 10-1 win.

Playing back-to-back games and being the stubborn person that I am, I attempted to play through the pain. I kicked two solid singles, scored what would be the winning run, and turned an unassisted double play at first base. We won the game 4-3.

But tonight's victory and my participation paid a price. I believe that I have torn my left hamstring; a "left leg contusion." The back of my upper leg is purple, approximately 4 inches in length and 3 inches in width. Ice is glued to my leg this evening. However, if the excruciating pain doesn't dwindle by tomorrow morning, I will be visiting the orthopedist shortly thereafter.

For now, the best doctor that I know (my dad) has advised me to shut it down for 2-3 weeks. Unfortunately, I think he's right.

Make That Two

Greensboro, NC -- Here's the latest on the hamstring injury. After icing it down last night, I woke up to less pain, but I still felt a knot, which forced a limp. By the end of the working day, I felt fine until I started to run. In pre-game warm-ups, I further tested the leg with some light stretching and slow jogging.

I did not start in the field, but I was able to kick 9th in the lineup. A pinch runner had to come in when I reached second base during the first at bat. In my second time up, I kicked a liner to the third baseman. A slight "pop" incured. Shelved. With our next game on Monday night, I have 4 full days to recover. We managed to win the game 7-5 thanks to some great fielding plays in the infield.

I've learned one misconception about kicking. I kick with my right foot. One would think that my "power" foot is my right one. However, if I cannot plant and pivot my left foot, power cannot be generated. In my second at bat, I was unable to produce power because my left leg was in bad shape. Instead, the ball went as far as my right leg could whip itself around.

Hamstrunged Out

Greensboro, NC -- After a championship season in the Winston-Salem Dodgeball League, we have decided to try our hand at kickball through the City of Greensboro. After two practices last week, there was much anticipation for today's first game. I've been pretty active during the summer, so it takes me less time to recover after a grueling event. When we played kickball in March, then again around Memorial Day back in Maryland, it took me several days to recover.

I completed my usual routine of stretching prior to the game. I followed that up by running some strides down the left field foul-line. Because league rules dictate that the fielding positions must alternate between boy-girl, I played "left-center" to start the game. Since 95% of the kickers are right handed, we stacked our best player and me on the left side of the diamond. However, on the very first play of the game, a ball was popped up to the shortstop. A natural reaction led me to break in and that's when my left hamstring popped. I was able to hobble around until the bottom of the inning. The lineups are filled out similarly to the fielding positions; a team must alternate boy-girl to prevent stacking. I batted second and lifted a solid single up the middle, but that just about did it for me. The team captain poked an infield single just over the shortstop's head. With our strongest leg at the plate, standing on second base, I took myself out of the game. Our team is another version of the 2007 Nationals. Our pitching and defense are adequate, but we need as many runs as possible. The clean-up hitter flied to left. Inning over.

An 1-1 dogfight in the 7th eventually became a laugher when the opposing team scored 5 in the 8th. We ultimately fell by a score of 8-1. It was the most stressful game to watch. My spot in the order came up twice with runners in scoring position. I'm rocking the ice pack on the hammie right now.

We have another game tomorrow, then we're off until Tuesday. If I can't go tomorrow, I hope to be ready for next week's game or else a trip to the 15-day disabled list is in order.

9/11 Remembered

Greensboro, NC -- This month has flown by due to a flurry of activity both inside and outside of the office. With today being the 6th anniversary of 9/11, everyone has their own story of where they were on that fateful day. Before I get into my story, I was talking to one of my co-workers at dinner tonight. She flew from Washington-Dulles airport to Greensboro. In between mentioning how sparse the crowds were, my co-worker said that the occupied waiting areas were extremely quiet. The atmosphere was very tranquil and solemn. I'm wondering if the mood was like that in other airports around the nation, because two of the four hijacked airplanes took off from Dulles.

Site: Georgia, 9/11/01 -- After prolonging to get up for my 9:00 a.m. Religion 200 class, I walked through the lobby of my dorm at about 8:55 a.m. to run to the cafeteria to grab some food to go. Some construction workers were gathered around the lobby's TV and I asked what happened. After one of the guys responded that a plane had hit the World Trade Center, I took a few steps closer to the tube to get a better look. I thought that it was some small Cessna plane that would be backpage news by the end of the week. Right then, in what I thought was a replay of the first airplane, the second plane struck the other tower. I returned to my dorm room immediately where my roommate was asleep. My roommate during that year was from New York and he informed me the night earlier during "Monday Night Football (Giants vs. Broncos)" that his mom was flying to San Francisco for business. After a few scary minutes, my roommate was able to track down his mom on her cell. Her flight never took off. One of the locals in the area, a fellow named Burton Crews, called our dorm shortly afterwards. (Ed. Note: Burton failed out of college after one semester.) I picked up the phone and Burton shouted, "Brian! Dan! Both of your cities are under attack!" the hung up the phone. FYI, Burton sounds like Barney from "The Simpsons."

A day that I'll never forget. A couple of friends and I drove through the bare streets of Atlanta. Downtown, the bustling Peachtree Street was nearly vacant on this typical business day.

Give me your site and any memories that you may have...

Hatin' Traffic

Greensboro, NC -- Back to the grindstone today. With an extra day off, the work has certainly piled up. With today being this week's Monday, have you ever noticed that the worst traffic of the week is always on a Tuesday? We hear all the time how people alter driving patterns to circumvent traffic. Monday is supposedly the worst day on the roads, while Fridays are the easiest. But I think Tuesdays are the worst because some people pull the I'll just work from home stunt when they see the roadways on Monday morning. Another example of this is the North Carolina DMV. Katie went to switch driver's licenses and license plates on a Friday. Expecting a glut of people taking a day off before the weekend, Katie prepared for the worst. However, it was quite the contrary. Most people, as told my the DMV clerk, complete their DMV errands at the beginning of the week, fearing that long lines gather at the end of the week. So, you can never be so sure when the traffic will hit you. Here are some traffic songs to help you through the mess:

• Ozzy Osborne - "Crazy Train"
• Elvis Costello - "Accidents Will Happen"
• Drivin' N' Cryin' - "Fly Me Courageous"
• Crazy Numan - "Cars"
• U2 - "Running To Stand Still"
• Dishwalla - "Counting Blue Cars"
• The Jimi Hendrix Experience - "Crosstown Traffic"
• 3 Doors Down - "When I'm Gone"
• The Jam - "Town Called Malice"
• The Cars - "Drive"
• Talking Heads - "Road To Nowhere"
• AC/DC - "Highway To Hell"
• Crash Test Dummies - "Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm"

All of the above songs encompass a traffic theme to them. Got any of your own?

B's Bistro asks...

3. What's the best neighbor to have?

The one...
a. With all of the power tools.
b. With the hot spouse.
c. With a pool.
d. Who's quiet.
e. With a nice TV.
f. With a huge window... see (b.) above!


FYI: I hope to have my college preseason picks up when I arrive in Maryland.

Just Pathetic

Winston-Salem, NC -- Take a look at the picture below. It was taken at last night's Orioles-Devil Rays game in Baltimore. The "announced" attendance was 17,546.

Here are some facts on the Orioles' 1-9 homestand:

• Runs allowed: 98
• Runs scored: 38
• Worst loss: 30-3
• Consecutive losing seasons: 9 (heading into 2007)
• Record since 1997 (last winning season): 652-877
• Longest losing streak: 21 games in 1988
• Longest losing streak this season: 9 games in June and now
• Record since Dave Trembley named manager for next season: 0-9

What a disgrace!

(Stats and photo courtesy of The Baltimore Sun)

Fire in the Hole!

Greensboro, NC -- There's a new prank in town and it's coming to a fast food restaurant near you. No, this isn't your grandmother's worst deed in life, toilet papering a tree. It's far worse and it can get you arrested. B's Bistro in no way, matter, or form, advocates this action. We would like to "enlighten" you on the subject and maybe share a cackle or two.

Here's the sequel of events -- the prank will take place at a drive-thru line of a fast food joint:

• The prankster orders a large sized drink and some food at the fast food establishment that he/she chooses.
• The prankster pulls forward and pays for the drink and food at the first window.
• At the second window, the prankster receives his/her drink. (Have you ever noticed that the drink is handed to you first in the drive-thru line?) While they are waiting for their food, the prankster inserts several ounces of hot sauce or Tabasco sauce into the large drink.
• When the fast food worker opens the window to hand the prankster their food, the prankster throws the entire drink (with hot sauce in it) at the worker (through the window hole). While the throw is taking place, the prankster yells, "Fire in the Hole!"
• The worker is doused with the drink, usually on their face. The hot sauce begins to burn the worker's face.

Here is an actual play-by-play of the "Fire in the Hole!" successfully executed:

Click here for the video

I guess that's why the clerk at Bojangles shut the window door immediately upon handing me a sweet tea. I didn't order any food with it, plus it was dark, and I was the only car in line. Hmmm...