Wednesday, May 30, 2007

10 minutes

Ashton, MD -- Have you ever noticed that when you order Chinese food, it's always ready in 10 minutes? No matter what the size of the order may be, from when you hear the owner's daughter of the Chinese restaurant say "take order" over the phone to when you enter the restaurant and walk past the nasty fish tanks, your order always takes 10 minutes. To test this theory, I've ordered Chinese food from several different carry-out restaurants scattered across a couple of states. From Atlanta to Winston-Salem to Rockville to Silver Spring, my order of orange chicken and fried rice takes 10 minutes. Not 15 or 20 minutes -- 10 minutes!

To further test this theory, I've ordered Chinese food with several different friends and family and have always yielded the same result. My family of six orders enough entrees and spring rolls to feed a small army. Before I moved, I used to grab lunch with the legendary Chinese food connoisseur, Patrick King in Rockville. On St. Patrick's Day, The Reed, Katie, and I dined over fine food from "The Golden Buddha." And, as I mentioned before, I sometimes pick up some Chinese food flying solo. What do all of these occurences have in common? Our food was ready in 10 minutes!

I have a feeling that the all of the food is prepared (sliced and diced) prior to the order. Because the pieces are very small, it takes a short time to cook. But, with large orders, how do they have everything cooked and wrapped up in a plastic bag in less than 600 seconds? I bet you could order a piece of the moon from a Chinese restaurant and it would be in your hands in 10 minutes. Until I figure out how it's done, I'll continue to eat my salted, flavored dog meat, I mean orange chicken, faster than you can cook those nasty Ramen noodles.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Smokey Air

Ashton, MD -- We were down in Atlanta over the weekend visiting my aunt & uncle, buddies, and one of Katie's friends. On the cooler of the two nights, Saturday to Sunday, the air for once wasn't some stickey, humid, sweaty clothes mess. But, with the wind blowing, it allowed a blast of "crisp" air. When we woke up, it smelled like the pasture behind my aunt's and uncle's house was on fire. Instead it was the air from the south Georgia, north Florida wildfires! The air was so thick that you couldn't see a half of a mile in front of you. It smelled like that first week of autumn where everyone's using their chimney for the first time. The most baffling thing about it was that the fires were over 250 miles away!

There were reports out of Charlotte, NC, that they could smell the fires all the way up there. It was probably more like traces from the fireworks that the rednecks in South Carolina set off on a nightly basis.

We attended the Braves' game on Sunday afternoon and you could smell the smoke in the air as well. It just seems ridiculous that: a) we could smell the smoke from that far of a distance; b) why hasn't our superior technology contained the fires? There hasn't been a drop of rain in two months. Are the wells really running that dry? Then again, this is south Georgia. Some pockets down there, such as Macon, Waycross, Valdosta and Albany are still living in the Antebellum South. The worst news: there's no rain in sight!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Blind Side

Greensboro, NC – I just finished up the latest book on my reading list, titled The Blind Side by Michael Lewis. Lewis’ name may ring a bell of yours if you’re a baseball fan because he was the pioneer of putting the concept of “moneyball” into writing. In his latest book, he digs down to the core of the reasons why the “left tackle” may be the most important position on the football field. He describes the evolution of the left tackle to the present day, using a future NFL star in Michael Oher to tell the story.

With the proliferation of football statistics through fantasy leagues, the casual fan enjoys gazing over the gaudy statistics of star running backs, wide receivers, and quarterbacks. Linemen, especially offensive linemen, have no statistics other than “games played.” To take this a step further, we frequently hear game announcers bring up the “West Coast” offense, currently being implemented by Jon Gruden’s Bucs, Mike Holgren’s ‘Hawks, and Andy Reid’s Igles, all pupils of Bill Walsh, the creator of the scheme. The West Coast offense thrives on completing short, accurate passes. But in order to execute the pass successfully, the quarterback must have enough time to step up, and make an accurate pass. In order to buy time, the left tackle must protect the quarterback’s “blind side.” Ed Note: We’re assuming it’s a right-handed quarterback. Many defenses will stack the outside linebacker on the left side of the offensive line (defensive right) to thrust pass the line and get to the quarterback. By having a massive lineman thwart the linebacker’s force, the quarterback can be assured of enough time to safely complete the pass. Bill Walsh used John Ayers to spoil the previously unstoppable Lawrence Taylor. The Washington Redskins’ starting left tackle is 5-time Pro Bowler Chris Samuels, who’s 6-5, 310 lbs. There’s a reason why he’s a top lineman, check out his size.

Michael Oher will be a junior at Ole Miss in 2007. His mother was addicted to crack, which coincided with an extremely troubled childhood. To make a long story short, Michael grew up in the ghetto of West Memphis. He didn’t attend school until he was 16, and therfore had the mind of a 1st grader at this age. He was adopted by a rich, white family from the beautiful East side of town. Subsequently, he was supplanted into the private, Evangelical school that the family’s kids were attending. By pulling a Billy Madison and learning 10 grades of school in 3 years, he was eligible to attend college by NCAA rules. After his first high school football game during his junior year, he shocked every recruiter in the nation with his skills and strength – he’s 6’5, 350 lbs. After a crazy recruiting tour, he decided to attend Ole Miss, which by serendipity or not, is the same school that his white, adopted parents attended. Tom Lenning, the Mel Kiper Jr. of high school recruiting, called Michael Oher “the greatest lineman I’ve ever seen since Orlando Pace.” Some of the stories in the book were shocking, such as, Michael had never slept in a bed before being adopted, he watched gun battles instead of attending school while living in the projects, and he scrambled for food from churches and neighbors. How does a man of his size remain so enormous if he’s only eating scraps everyday? It would be an amazing story if the book had a final chapter: Oher is the first lineman taken in the 2008 or 2009 NFL Draft -- the ultimate rags to riches story. I usually don’t root for players who are flashy and have run-in’s with the law (and that's not the case with Michael). After reading The Blind Side, I have grasped that Michael Oher is a good kid with a very troubled background. He worked very hard with tutors to make himself eligible for college. I’m pulling for him to make it.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

A Brave New Season

Greensboro, NC – With it being the middle of the week and a bit fatigued, I’ll cover one of my favorite baseball team’s season to this point. I do have some good topics saved for later on this week.

Many thought that the Atlanta Braves’ run of 14 straight divisional titles was long overdue to be snapped. It finally came to an end last season, thanks in large part to a very weak bullpen and an unstable pitching rotation. When Mike Gonzalez, the Pirates closer in 2006, was obtained for slugging first baseman Adam LaRoche, coupled with the acquisition of super set-up man Rafael Soriano in an exchange for the fragile LHP Horacio Ramirez, the Braves’ bullpen immediately became one of the best in the league. With John Smoltz and Tim Hudson serving as a lethal 1-2 punch, followed by gutsy lefthander Chuck James and the talented Kyle Davies, the Braves have a very formidable pitching staff.

My new favorite player in all of baseball has to be Brian McCann. McCann possesses an average arm for throwing out base runners; however, it’s his bat that will make him a superstar. He’ll hit above .320, 20+ home runs, 80+ RBI’s. You don’t get that from your everyday catcher. He’s a Georgia native, who grew up a Braves’ fan, and his name is Brian. I think Andruw Jones, regretfully, will walk away from the Braves at the end of the year when his contract expires. His agent is Scott Boras, the free agent nazi; translation: no home discount for you! He’s the best defensive center fielder in the game, IMO. He reads where the ball will land as soon as it hits the bat, not when it’s out of the infield. Kelly Johnson and Scott Thorman have been very pleasant surprises at the plate replacing longtime stalwarts of the Braves’ right side infield, Marcus Giles and Adam LaRoche, respectively. Together, with Jeff Francoeur in right field, Edgar Renteria at short, Chipper Jones at third, and a platoon of Diaz and Harris in left, this team is poised for a deep run in the postseason.


After tonight, they’ve defeated the Mets in 5 out of 7 games. Not to mention, the Braves easily took care of the Dodgers and Padres, two of the leaders out west. If you’re a Mets’ fan, I would be terrified of the Braves this year. I picked them to win the East in Spring Training. They have the past experience to reach the postseason. 2006 featured multiple injuries to key players, a horrible bullpen, a weak pitching staff, and not enough offensive power. It just so happens that 2006 will be the one leap year in the Braves’ 14 out of 15 NL East Champions mark.

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Evil Empire

Greensboro, NC – When you first read the title, I’m sure you assumed that I was referring to the New York Yankees since a majority of the blogs have focused on baseball. However, I would like to shine the spotlight on this greedy, monopolistic, cash cow that’s sitting in your own home; Comcast. Aside from DirecTV, in the suburban Maryland area, customers only have one choice for their cable needs: Comcast. The chief officers of Comcast are smart enough to milk their clients on a monthly basis by charging a flat $15 “basic” service fee. However, if you want to upgrade to “digital” service, which includes all of your standard cable channels, ESPN, CNN, MSNBC, TBS, etc… $49.95! Yes, 50 bucks tacked on! Plus, don’t forget to add your Montgomery County Screw You Fees as well. Not counting the internet, my monthly cable bill when I lived in Rockville was $85. All I want to do is watch ESPN! Meanwhile, when I moved to North Carolina, I had a plethora of options: Time Warner, Cox Communications, Road Runner, and DirecTV. Not counting internet, my monthly cable bill is $32 – yes, I do get ESPN.

If you’ve ever had issues with your cable service, go ahead and give Comcast a call. It’s only a 45 minute wait on your telephone. There’s no immediate rush to send one of their underpaid technicians in a fancy truck to your place. What are you going to do – switch to the dish? While handling files of clients at my previous job, we brokered several mortgages for Comcast employees. I have seen firsthand that rookie school teachers are paid more than a 10 year veteran of Comcast. Teachers are very much underpaid to begin with. While serving as a statistician of the Frederick Keys baseball team for the past two years, I directly saw how much cash that Comcast poured in to their “minor” investment. It was a treat to the employees to receive a Frederick Keys polo shirt arrive in July. Harry Grove Stadium wasn’t exactly Camden Yards. When marginal profits began to fall, Comcast cut their losses and sold. The first item on the agenda of the new Keys’ owners was to completely renovate HGS. I’ve heard it looks great.


If I knew anything about running a TV network or had any experience in media, I would create a new cable company in suburban DC. It is outrageous for someone like me to own one TV, watch one channel, and be forced to pay $85 a month. When service goes down, you’re forced to talk to an underpaid customer service rep who couldn’t give a hoot about the snow on your TV screen. When I moved to NC, the first company that I called to shut down service in Rockville was Comcast. It was a joy to inform them that I won’t need their services anymore. In turn, they deleted my Comcast e-mail address! Isn’t a monopoly in America illegal? What if my apartment complex banned dishes on balconies? I wouldn’t have a choice for TV. I’d like to commend Brendan’s parents for spotting how absurd this Evil Empire really is. To those 2 to 3 people running this monopoly, who are sitting on hundreds of millions of dollars from the pockets of all Washingtonians, watch wear you walk, because one of your underpaid technicians may just loosen a cable wire above your sidewalk.

Friday, May 18, 2007

The Top 10 (ATL Style)

Winston-Salem, NC -- The week long, feels like eternity, wait is over. The top album of the last 30 years was revealed today on Dave FM. Please, before you go irate, this countdown was NOT my own; it was voted on by the listeners of Dave FM in the Atlanta area. Did I vote? Yes, I did... and my number one choice came out on top. So, without further ado, here are the top ten albums of the last thirty years:

10. Madonna - "Like A Virgin"
9. Peter Gabriel - "So"
8. The Clash - "London Calling"
7. Pink Floyd - "The Wall"
6. Nirvana - "Nevermind"
5. Michael Jackson - "Thriller"
4. Bruce Springsteen - "Born in the USA"
3. R.E.M. - "Automatic for the People"
2. The Police - "Syncronicity"
1. U2 - "The Joshua Tree"

Let the controversy begin. Until today, I didn't realize that a band could only be featured once in the countdown. You could make the case that "Achtung Baby" is U2's best album. Here's why "The Joshua Tree" is number 1. The album is stacked, in that, every song 1 through 11 could be a single. Look at the lineup: 1. Where The Streets Have No Name, 2. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, 3. With or Without You, 4. Bullet the Blue Sky, 5. Running to Stand Still, 6. Red Hill Mining Town, 7. In God's Country, 8. Trip Through Your Wires, 9. One Tree Hill, 10. Exit, 11. Mothers of the Disappeared. U2 wanted to tap into the musical roots of America. Symbolically, this album is "a musical journey through America. In turn, America discovered who U2 was during the Joshua Tree tour. Without America's discovery, U2 would not be the internationally known band that it is today. Not only are Bono's lyrics obsessed with America, but country and blues influences are heard throughout the record. U2 could have used these two musical flavors as the roots, but instead they're used as methods to add texture to the music.

The first five tracks are all radio singles along with tracks seven and nine. I love how the album starts with "Streets" since it has the ultimate crescendo -- it's so exciting -- the paramount song to blast driving down the highway with the windows down during summertime. "Still Haven't Found" is a gospel song with a nifty drum beat. "With or Without You" is an antipode, in that, the words don't depict the musical tone. As Bono said in the U2 By U2 book, "I cringe everytime a couple plays this song as their first dance at their wedding." "Exit" is a flat-out jam song, it's like the band is warming up, just trying to make as much noise as possible. Speaking of waking up, the instrumental entrance in "One Tree Hill" always reminds me of the sun rising. "Mothers" is what the name says; it portrays the sad situation in South America where children have lost their mothers.

The rest of the countdown: I love R.E.M., but they received the ATL boost in this countdown. You can never go wrong with The Police either. They may have received a lift because old man Sting just pulled a Clemens by unretiring. Nirvana at #6 and Peter Gabriel at #9 are two albums that I enjoyed in middle school. All of the dancing wannabes put Michael in the top 5. I was kind of surprised that a Rolling Stones album wasn't in the top 10. The Beatles and The Doors were DQ'd since this countdown only dates back to 1977.

Snubs: I thought the Allman Brothers would have an album somewhere in the countdown. I also thought that The Wallflowers' "Bringing Down The Horse" had the merit to break the top 30. It's one of those stacked albums; 1-11. If the Foo Fighters combined all of their albums, no doubt they would be in the top 30. It's just that all of their good songs are scattered two apiece to an album. Same goes for Beck, Garbage, Soundgarden, and Our Lady Peace. I'm shocked that the Smashing Pumpkins, "Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness" didn't make the cut. Yes, it's a double album, but there's a smorgasbord of good songs between the two CD's. Another album that I played over and over in the 90's was Bush's "Sixteen Stone." That album was a stacker.

All in all, I enjoyed the countdown and especially the final album. Any albums that you felt were snubbed? Let the controversy begin!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Showcase Shutdown

Greensboro, NC – This week, legendary game show host Bob Barker decided to put down that stick-figure microphone after 50 years of hosting “The Price Is Right.” I’m not sure about you, but I don’t know anyone who disliked “The Price Is Right.” I bet that if you took a poll of all people ages 20-60 asking them their top reason to skip school; it would be to catch “The Price Is Right” at 11:00 a.m. I’m sure there’s been many a day in my past where faking sick gave me the opportunity to play some pricing games.

Going back to all of those people ages 20-60, if you asked them what their favorite pricing game would be, I’d bet again that “Plinko” would be on top. Here’s why “Plinko” is not my favorite: it’s based on luck. You can’t control where the chip will land. Additionally, the best prize that you can win is $5000. Not that you have a choice, but why not like that golf putting game? Do you ever notice that Bob always makes that putt? I think it’s rigged. Sink the longest putt and you’re going home in a new car, even if you flew to Hollywood. Don’t like the car? Sell it – I’m sure you’d make more than $5000.

My favorite part of “The Price Is Right” is the Showcase Showdown at the end. Rod Reilly (more on him in a moment) did a fantastic job reading the prizes. The top seeded “contestant” always gets the opportunity to “keep” or “pass” the first showcase. It’s a hilarious sight when the contestant is from Kansas and they can’t picture themselves driving that pontoon boat; the camera always zooms in on their puzzled and dissatisfied face.

While “The Price Is Right” is a game show, I have obtained a better grasp on pricing a wide range of objects from cars to new dining rooms to grandfather clocks. A new term was coined as a direct result of this show: “you ‘price is righted’ me.” The Red Sox did just that with the New York Mets this winter by placing a $51,100,001 bid on Dice-K Matsuzaka.


Obviously, the show will never be the same with the departure of Bob Barker. Have they even named is replacement? Will the show go on? However, it cannot be overlooked when Rod Reilly left the show a couple of years ago. I loved the ridiculous, colorful, sequenced jackets that he wore. He always moved his head when he was calling someone down. He invented the phrase, “Cooommmmmmeeee on down!!!! You’re the next contestant on The Price is Right!!” The show went on, but it lost some charisma. Now, with the retirement of ol’ Bob, what game show will step up and become the next 50 year sitcom?

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

A National Outlook

Greensboro, NC – They’re ranked last in everyone’s power rankings, last in total offense, last in all pitching categories, last in the National League East standings, and they’re still not dead last in payroll. With the absurd amounts of money thrown at players, we (the fans) have it prearranged that team payroll equates to wins. The Nationals, a team predicted to give the ’62 Mets a run for their money, are paying their 25 man roster $12 million more than the amount that the Yankees recently doled out for Roger Clemens. The Marlins, whose payroll is less than the Nats, started their rebuilding effort two years in advance of the Nats. Therefore, their team is comprised of younger players than the Nats’ roster. In the Collective Bargaining Agreement, young player are paid the minimum ($335,000) until they're eligible for arbitration (after 3 years of service time).

The Nats finished the 2006 season with a record of 71-91, one game better than the $75 million Orioles (Nats payroll in ’06: $56 M). Their record at the end of April 2006: 8-17. The Nats’ record at the end of April 2007: 8-18. Sure, the Nats don’t have Livan “Junkball” Hernandez, Tony Armas Jr., or Ramon Ortiz anchoring the staff. Livan has had a good start with the D-Backs, while Armas has been horrible with the Bucs, and Ortiz has struggled a bit with the Twinkies after a hot start. Jason Bergmann, who probably pitched the best game that any Nats’ start will pitch this year has been solid to this point. He owns the leader board in opponents batting average against (BAA) at 0.161. That’s better than Peavy, Smoltz, Oswalt, Zambrano, and Hamels. Shawn Hill has pitched 5 quality starts in 7 games. Matt Chico has struggled at times, but you have to love his mound presence and poise.

Here’s what I think the Nats should do. They should throw as many pitchers as possible “in the hopper” to see if two can become pieces to the long term puzzle. John Patterson won’t be with the team in 2009. If the Nats can develop two pitchers from 2007, coupled with one in 2008, then sign a free agent in 2009, they’ll have a very formidable staff. The Nats aren’t going to win in 2008 or 2009 either. The Brewers started rebuilding in 2003 and now they’re finally reaping the rewards. They developed their ace, Ben Sheets, and made smart trades to acquire Chris Capuano, Dave Bush, and Claudio Vargas. Then, they made a free agent splash this winter in signing Jeff Suppan. Look at the Tigers last year: they developed Bonderman, Maroth, and Robertson by throwing them “in the hopper” during 2003. They got lucky with Verlander, but made the smart free agent move by signing Kenny Rogers.


The Nats aren’t going to win next year either, even with the new ballpark increasing revenues... I see them reaching the 71 wins mark. I thought they would go 67-95 this year. I’ve noticed that when a team implements one of these “3 year or 5 year plans,” there’s always a set-back due to injuries, bad breaks, etc. It never actually goes according to plan -- see 2009. Look for 2010 to be the Nats’ year to make its mark in the NL East. That’s if they stick to the plan, develop pitchers, and don’t waste free agent money on the Tony Bautistas and the Pedro Astacios. Terrible free agent signings can stunt the rebuilding effort -- see the Orioles, they're in year 10.

If you'd like me to analyze your favorite team in a future blog, please let me know.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Nash Vegas

Greensboro, NC – This place is the second coming of Las Vegas. It has that round-the-clock atmosphere that makes you feel like you’re missing something when sleep gets the best of you at 3:00 a.m. Here’s why I love this place and why I believe it’s the most underrated city in America:

- Yes, it has that country twang to it with the boot shops and Confederate flag paraphernalia on the downtown strip. But, every bar, restaurant, and club features live music. As Kevin said over the weekend, “you can’t go to Nashville without hearing live music.” Went to an Irish pub-restaurant on Saturday night and sure enough, they had an Irish band (authentic too). They kept the language to a G-level with children still in the crowd. Kudos to them for breaking out the pink alligator song and getting the kids to perform YMCA-like movements.

- It’s not a very big town; however, between Broadway and 2nd Streets, Printer’s Alley, and Demonbreun Street, there are strings of fantastic bars. The problem with most cities is that it has “pockets” of bars. Here, the bars just keep “flowing;” the next stop is just a few feet away. I can’t imagine that taxis have a major business there.

- The bands playing in Nashville are all trying to “make it” in the music industry. Therefore, they encourage and invite you in to the bar or restaurant to hear them play, cover-free.

- While I didn’t spot any celebrities this time around, I did see Willie Nelson and I missed Bon Jovi by a minute when I was there last November. A cheaper alternative to Hollywood for all of you celebrity gossip queens (and kings).

- We stayed at the Gaylord Opryland, which if you supplanted it in Vegas, it would fit right in. Luxurious rooms overlooked an indoor rain forest comprised of waterfalls, palm trees, men dressed up like plants playing music, and a cool mist. All that was missing were the slot machines.

- Traffic wasn’t too bad, but you can tell that the city is growing. The first time that I traveled to Nashville was in 2000 for a cross country meet. It’s a night and day difference in traffic volume over the course of 6 ½ years.

- The city just has that intangible, that charisma, that mystique. All of the record companies on music row are quite a site. Go into New York and Philly, and they all have the typical city attributes: tall buildings and a subway. It’s so vanilla that Baskin Robins could be the mayor of town.

I am two blogs behind, but I blame it on Nashville. The reasons above depict why I believe that one day, maybe 20 years from now, it’ll be one of America’s favorite cities, joining the likes on Las Vegas, Orlando, Miami, New York, and LA. For now, let it remain the diamond-in-the-rough that it is. It’s better that way.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Top Albums

Winston-Salem, NC -- I'm trying to throw in some music flavor to the blog in anticipation for my trip to Nash Vegas. My favorite radio station, WZGC 92.9 FM - "Dave FM" in Atlanta (My uncle, Dave, who lives in Atlanta, thinks that the radio station was named after him.), whom I listen to on a daily basis via internet at work, had a recent poll (from its listeners) of the top 30 albums of the last 30 years -- "Top 30 of the Last 30." One day at a time, they countdown the album that received the highest number of votes. All of the tracks, even if they weren't singles, from the featured album are sprinkled throughout the broadcast on its particular day. Some highlights and interviews from the artist are played over the airwaves as well. I will give you albums 11-30 today, and sometime next week, I'll showcase the top 10.

30. Alanis Morissette - "Jagged Little Pill"
29. Counting Crows - "August and Everthing After"
28. Rush - "Moving Pictures"
27. Talking Heads - "Speaking in Tongues"
26. Duran Duran - "Rio"
25. Bon Jovi - "Slippery When Wet"
24. Paul Simon - "Graceland"
23. John Mellencamp - "Scarecrow"
22. Inxs - "Kick"
21. DMB - "Under the Table and Dreaming"
20. Van Halen - "1984"
19. Dire Straits - "Brothers in Arms"
18. Prince - "Purple Rain"
17. Black Crowes - "Shake Your Money Maker"
16. Bob Marley - "Legend"
15. AC/DC - "Back in Black"
14. Tom Petty - "Full Moon Fever"
13. Fleetwood Mac - "Rumours"
12. Rolling Stones - "Tattoo You"
11. Pearl Jam - "Ten"

Why is "Legend" on there when that is a compilation of hits? I'm a sucker for good 90's music, so I like Pearl Jam's "10" up there. I think that album has Evenflow, Jeremy, Alive, and Black if I'm not mistaken. Tom Petty, solid pick at 14. I was kind of surprised to see Counting Crows in the list. They are an extremely underrated band -- Omaha, Mr. Jones, Rain King, Raining in Baltimore, and Round Here comprise that album. I'm glad to see the listeners select that one. Alanis Morissette has the type of songs that get stuck in your head; #30 or higher is a fair ranking. Where did Inxs and Duran Duran come from? The very talented and underrated band, Rush, finally received some much deserved recognition. I think Rush is the most neglected band in the history of rock n' roll. Why they are not in the rock n' roll HOF is a travesty. DMB's first big album, "Under the Table and Dreaming" is a staple in everyone's CD collection. While The Black Crowes received the hometown discount by actually making an appearance in this countdown, I was shocked to see them this high. Fleetwood Mac? Stevie Nicks wasn't a top 15 singer in the 80's. I'm hoping that the top 10 smooths this countdown out.

With an overwhelming amount of feedback from yesterday's "Bad Lyrics," I figure that this will spark some debate. Do you agree with the countdown so far? Disagree? How about any comments?

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Bad Lyrics

Winston-Salem, NC -- I'm going to touch on some music topics in the next couple of blogs since I'll be in Music City, USA this weekend. Have you ever listened to a song and said, "those are the worst lyrics ever?" Writing lyrics is tougher than it appears. You don't want to be too cheesey, but you want to convey a message or tell a story. There are some songs that when you place the lyrics under a microscrope, it looks as though a 5th grader wrote them. Off the top of my head, here is my list of songs (artist first) in no particular order that feature terrible lyrics:

1. Oasis - Wonderwall
2. Train - Drops of Jupiter
3. New Radicals - You Get What You Give
4. U2 - Elevation
5. Live - Lightning Crashes
6. Barenaked Ladies - One Week
7. Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer
8. Coldplay - Fix You
9. America - A Horse With No Name
10. Edie Brikell & New Bohemians - What I Am

11. Hoobastank - Running Away

Yes, I did mentioned my favorite band, U2, in the list.

"A mole, living in a hole
Digging up my soul
Going down, excavation
I and I in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high, elevation"

Not Bono's best work, but it's still a good song (especially live)! It'll pump you up in the morning or if you're about to workout, etc. The music, while it's merely a bunch of power chords, has a fantastic rhythm. Who didn't like "Wonderwall" by Oasis in 1995? Acoustic guitar to lead, followed by the entrance of drums, then a dose of bass and electric guitars. My point is, it can still be a good song, but the lyrics aren't quality when you read them out loud.

To the readers: Can you spout off some songs with bad lyrics that come to mind?

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

He Wasn't Lyin'!

Greensboro, NC – Funny story about one of the folks that I report to. When I was transferred down to our Winston-Salem office from Rockville, my boss placed me under the supervision of “MM.” MM is a Jersey product; however, you would never guess it since he talks very sloooowly and softly. He ran a couple of call centers in New York for American Express and Prudential so he has some great management skills. Currently, MM runs our call center in Winston-Salem. When I first met him in January, we sort of had a meet n’ greet with each other and he told me about his addiction to coffee. A couple of weeks passed and I noticed that he carries this stainless steel, Starbucks coffee container everywhere. I was quite skeptical. So, I waited a couple of more weeks to ensure that he didn’t have a week-long illness or anything like that. Finally, on a Friday, I called him out. I told him that he carries that coffee container everywhere – to the same meetings that we’re both in, in his cube, to lunch, to greet clients, etc. Luckily, MM does have a pretty good sense of humor and so he says to me, “Yes, this mug is actually attached to my right hand. I pretty much take it everywhere.” Subsequently, I asked him how many times he refills the coffee container on a daily basis. His answer: 12! (And his hands don’t shake!)

Fast forward to last week – I was asked to assist our new consolidation loan department in the hiring of an outside loan analyst. Prior to an interview, I asked the Director of H.R. if I could use the restroom as I had to take a massive leak. I briskly walked into the bathroom where one must bypass a row of about seven stalls (about 25 feet long) to reach the urinals. I was looking down because my shoelace was undone when I noticed the stainless steel, Starbucks container on the floor in the occupied stall #3! I saw a hand go down to reach for it, heard the sip of hot coffee passing lips as I walked past the stall, then the sound of “clink” (stainless steel on tile) could be heard when I reached the stall. MM wasn’t lyin’ – He “pretty much takes it everywhere!”

Monday, May 7, 2007

Rocket Launch

Greensboro, NC – The most absurd news of the 2007 baseball season took place yesterday in front of 50,000 New Yorkers. Roger “The Rocket” Clemens has decided for the fourth time in four years to come out of retirement and pitch a short season. I can just see the Yankee triumphant of Steinbrenner, Cashman, and Torre on their knees begging (and waving cash). With the Yankee pitching staff in shambles (10 starters in 30 games!), the least that this could do is boost the confidence of the team. However, the team already leads the league in payroll at $195M. Clemens and his agent played this perfectly using the Astros and Red Sox to drive up the bidding price for his services. They reached a pro-rated deal for 1 year and $28M, which comes out to about $18.5M when it’s spread out over the final four months. Only one word can sum this up: asinine. The guy is 45 years old and you’re going to pay $4.5M/month? Yes, he is very good and he currently has 348 career victories. That’s 15 away from Warren Spahn – about 10 years ago, it was almost unthinkable that anyone would reach 363 in the post 1930’s era. Maybe this year and next year, he could catch Spahn?

What does Clemens have left to prove? He has 2 World Series rings, multiple Cy Young Awards in both leagues, MVP awards, All Star elections, Gold Gloves, etc. Cash? I looked up the amount of career earnings this guy has made and it’s roughly $130M. His great grandchildren won’t ever get to spend all of it. New York offered him $10 M more than the Astros, his home-town team. But, there’s no income tax in Texas so it’s safe to say, he’ll only be making a tad bit more with the Yankees. There is no reason why this guy should play anymore. He’s done it all. I think he, like everyone else, wants to be the savior of the franchise. He wants to resurrect this cash cow and put it back in the World Series pasture for the 27th time. Picture this, Clemens on a white horse leading the cavalry charge over the hated Red Sox. But get this, it won’t happen because the Sox have 4 very good starters who will win the division. It’ll be a dogfight for the AL Wild Card with that mess in the Central – Cleveland, Minnesota, Detroit, and Chicago.

Clemens, Pettitte, Mussina, Wang vs. Schilling, Beckett, Matsuzaka, Wakefield.

I’ll take the Sox over the old guys.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Friday, May 4, 2007

Park Factors

Winston-Salem, NC -- As a statistics nut, I like to glance over the box scores and league leaders in the baseball section of the newspaper on a daily basis. With the advent of Moneyball, there's no secret that certain front offices judge talent and build teams in a different way from before. Statistics such as on-base percentage, slugging percentage, sacrifice bunts, and stolen bases have entered into the limelight. The latter two are inversely related to the former two. After I read Moneyball four years ago, the overall theme that ran through the book was the value on "getting on base" any way you can. If you reach base, you theoretically, are not making an out. Sacrifice bunts and stolen bases are risky in terms of generating outs. The Oakland A's front office, who developed this new way of thinking (the stats were created by Bill James), cannot afford to pay for high priced, star free agents. Therefore, they draft college kids (signing bonuses are smaller), who have a knack for getting on base -- via walks, hit, hit-by-pitch, etc.

Everyone talks about park factors during fantast baseball draft time. For example, Alfonso Soriano will hit more than 46 HR's this year because he is playing in the "friendly confines" of Wrigley Field as opposed to cavernous RFK Stadium. How much does a park factor into a hitter's performance? It varies -- some "hitters" parks (Cincinnati, Colorado, and Boston) have a direct correlation with the team's offensive rank (and pitching rank for that matter). Don't we consider Yankee Stadium, Camden Yards, and Turner Field all hitter's parks? Not so fast!

In a formula developed by baseball genius, Bill James, we can determine how much a ballpark affects hitting. Here it is: PF = ((homeRS + homeRA)/(homeG)) / ((roadRS + roadRA)/(roadG)) A PF greater than 1, shows it's a hitter's park, and conversely, less than 1 is a pitcher's park.
Here are the numbers from 2006.

Some notables:
Camden Yards: 0.985
Turner Field: 0.946
Yankee Stadium: 0.900
Dodger Stadium: 1.046

Turner Field, by the way, is second in the major leagues for highest altitude. Also, in terms of ranking the park factors, take a look at Houston. That place is a bandbox -- 315 feet to left and yet they're ranked 12th, below Dodger Stadium. Coors Field, checking in a #2, is known for the homeruns sailing through the mile-high, thin air (#10 for HR's). But that thin air also allows a ton of doubles and triples that would be singles in most parks. Maybe they can take a hint from Atlanta and develop some pitching. The slugfests haven't worked for 14 years! So, next time you're drafting your fantasy baseball team and someone says this player is going to have a breakout year because they signed with Texas, you better think twice. Soriano only has 2 homeruns to date.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Trees and Crows

Greensboro, NC -- I'm sure everyone by now has heard or read of that Sheryl Crow story about using one square of toilet paper. I guess this blog entry is fitting after the content of the previous entry concerning chili. I'm not sure about the ladies, but if the world came to this dire straights situation, the guys could theoretically skip the t.p. process 2/3 of the time. I honestly don't think it would matter if you went "overboard" and used 10 times the amount (per serving) than Crow's request. Will you be living when every single tree on earth is chopped down due to incessant swiping? No -- so stop worrying and making these outlandish comments! I'm sure Sheryl is living in some one room home, heated by solar power, while driving in a hybrid car these days.

Speaking of Sheryl Crow, what has she done lately besides dumping (no pun intended)? I, of course, was referring to Lance Armstrong. She had that mid-90's folk rock album, "Tuesday Night Music Club" with the hit songs, "All I Wanna Do" and "Strong Enough." (I'm not going to lie, I really like that album and I still have some songs of hers on my i-pod.) Then, she became darker on her next album, looking more "sexy" and "bad." The self-titled album featured the hits, "If It Makes You Happy" and "Everyday is a Winding Road." She has since faded, re-appeared when she went out with Lance, and again for scolding us for wiping too much. The main country radio station in the Triad, 93.1 "The Wolf," recently asked their listeners to come up with a catch-phrase slogan to summarize Crow's proposal. There were many great and hilarious ones, but my favorite happened to be: "Crow's Crackdown!"

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Skyline Chili (and Cake)

Greensboro, NC -- Earlier this week, Katie tryed her hand at cooking some good ol' fashioned chili for dinner. It took her less than an hour to concoct the meal, but it featured a prominent dose of spicey tomatoes, beans and chili powder. Yes, that can do a number on anyone's colon and I was a victim of its ramifications. Her chili wasn't bad at all -- in fact, I took the leftovers to work and had them for lunch the next day. A couple of weeks ago, I really started to enjoy this new Big & Rich song, called "Coming To Your City." They basically sing about a roadtrip they're on and mention that they must have some "skyline chili" when they reach Cincinnati. It'll make them "happy." I went to their website here and apparently, it's "world famous."

You know how everyone has their signature meal that they can cook? I think for guys, chili would be the #1 signature dish. For example, on the hit TV show, "Roseanne," the only thing that Dan Connor can cook is "Dan's Famous Chili." I was at the Waffle House this past weekend and there's a sign on its wall that reads "Try Bert's Famous Chili." If you've ever cooked chili, aren't you suppose to let it sit and stir for half the day?

If I'm ever in Cincinnati for the day, I'm sure I'll give this world famous chili a shot. Any recommendations for the perfect chili? Since Cakes went to college outside of Cincinasti, I guess she has a tiny knack for chili making.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

May Day! ... not yet

Greensboro, NC -- With it being May 1st, we are forced to see all of the "April" highlights today on Sportscenter. As the past couple of years have gone, my fantasy baseball team is not where I expected it to be. My best bud from college, Alex, a reader of this blog too, engages in a couple of yearly bets with me. The prizes usually range from a cold beer to $100 to a steakhouse dinner at Morton's. (Ed. note: B and others from Emory had some sick obsession about Morton's -- a future blog topic!) We bet on which of our fantasy baseball teams will win and also on the predictions we make for the season; standings, MVP's, Cy Yound Awards, Rookies, etc. Those of you who know me well know that baseball is my favorite sport by far. Here's a look at the finishes for my fantasy baseball team recently (based on a 10-15 team league):
2001: 2nd
2002: 3rd
2003: 2nd
2004: 3rd
2005: 2nd
2006: 14th
And today: 15th

Now compare that to my fantasy hockey league:
2002: 10th, 2003: 8th, 2004: 1st, 2005: n/a, 2006: 1st, 2007: 2nd

I've watched less hockey over the years and more baseball. Should I stop watching baseball now?

As far as the predictions go, I've smoked Alex and here were my projections on March 30th:
AL E: Red Sox, AL C: Twins, AL W: Angels, NL E: Braves, NL C: Cards, NL W: D-Backs
Cubs in 2nd to last.

That's pretty good -- but it's only April. Just like I say to Alex: it's only April in the fantasy standings. No need to panic and yell "May Day!" because I'm not jumping ship yet.