DC Sports Quotes of the Year

Winston-Salem, NC -- One of life's biggest oxymorons is the professional sports athlete. These guys are paid millions of dollars, but their ability to conjure up a complete sentence escapes their mind. To point out the absurdity of their lack of the English language, I initiated the "Quote of the Week" in my weekly Football Pick 'em pool this year. Now, it's time to expand beyond the football hashmarks, and countdown the best sports quotes from DC athletes that were uttered this year. Without further ado...

10. "We want to win all games. When you win, you have good feelings. When you lose, it feels like someone died." – Capitals forward Alex Ovechkin
9. "What a bad pitch it was." – Nationals pitcher Mike Bacsik, asked if anything struck him while watching replays of Barry Bonds's record-setting homer
8. "No man, a kicker is nobody I even pay attention to on the field. Waste of my time." – Redskins cornerback Carlos Rogers, when asked if he had ever fought a kicker
7. "This year will be different because I won't be caught up looking at all the stars in the stands. Well, unless I see Beyonce out there." – Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas on the NBA All-Star Game in Las Vegas
6. "He's chasing history. Whoop-dee-doo." – Dmitri Young on the Nationals' impending date with Barry Bonds 5. "I drink beers before the game, and then I go to play hockey. That's why I do some crazy moves, because I'm drunk." – Capitals forward Alex Ovechkin, joking (presumably) about his pregame rituals
4. "It's Valentine's Day. We're in love with each other." - Wizards Coach Eddie Jordan on the team’s mood
3. “If he says, 'Clinton, I need you to run through that brick wall,’ and that brick wall, it’s hard to run through a brick wall, I’ve got to find a way to get as close as I can and dive over the top of this brick wall and tell him, ‘[Bleep], I made it over.’” – Redskins running back Clinton Portis on offensive coordinator Al Saunders ... I think?
2. “My swag was phenomenal.” – Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas on shooting a game-winner from 32 feet as time expired
1. "It was a pretty serious situation. I pray for his buttocks and his family." – Nationals GM Jim Bowden on Jesus Colome’s injury

Courtesy of Lindsay Applebaum, The Washington Post, 12.27.07