B's Bistro asks...

3. What's the best neighbor to have?

The one...
a. With all of the power tools.
b. With the hot spouse.
c. With a pool.
d. Who's quiet.
e. With a nice TV.
f. With a huge window... see (b.) above!


FYI: I hope to have my college preseason picks up when I arrive in Maryland.

Just Pathetic

Winston-Salem, NC -- Take a look at the picture below. It was taken at last night's Orioles-Devil Rays game in Baltimore. The "announced" attendance was 17,546.

Here are some facts on the Orioles' 1-9 homestand:

• Runs allowed: 98
• Runs scored: 38
• Worst loss: 30-3
• Consecutive losing seasons: 9 (heading into 2007)
• Record since 1997 (last winning season): 652-877
• Longest losing streak: 21 games in 1988
• Longest losing streak this season: 9 games in June and now
• Record since Dave Trembley named manager for next season: 0-9

What a disgrace!

(Stats and photo courtesy of The Baltimore Sun)

Fire in the Hole!

Greensboro, NC -- There's a new prank in town and it's coming to a fast food restaurant near you. No, this isn't your grandmother's worst deed in life, toilet papering a tree. It's far worse and it can get you arrested. B's Bistro in no way, matter, or form, advocates this action. We would like to "enlighten" you on the subject and maybe share a cackle or two.

Here's the sequel of events -- the prank will take place at a drive-thru line of a fast food joint:

• The prankster orders a large sized drink and some food at the fast food establishment that he/she chooses.
• The prankster pulls forward and pays for the drink and food at the first window.
• At the second window, the prankster receives his/her drink. (Have you ever noticed that the drink is handed to you first in the drive-thru line?) While they are waiting for their food, the prankster inserts several ounces of hot sauce or Tabasco sauce into the large drink.
• When the fast food worker opens the window to hand the prankster their food, the prankster throws the entire drink (with hot sauce in it) at the worker (through the window hole). While the throw is taking place, the prankster yells, "Fire in the Hole!"
• The worker is doused with the drink, usually on their face. The hot sauce begins to burn the worker's face.

Here is an actual play-by-play of the "Fire in the Hole!" successfully executed:

Click here for the video

I guess that's why the clerk at Bojangles shut the window door immediately upon handing me a sweet tea. I didn't order any food with it, plus it was dark, and I was the only car in line. Hmmm...

Dodgeball Champions

Greensboro, NC -- After six long weeks of intense battles, nerf balls flying at you at speeds faster than what you drive on the highway, and blood, Team "Cobra Kai" emerged victoriously in the City of Winston-Salem Dodgeball Tournament. Each week consists of 4 games against another team. The victorious team stays on the court to battle the next challenger. Each time slot has 3 teams. Altogether, you'll play 8 games against 2 different opponents. After two cupcake rounds, consisting of records of 7-1 and 6-2, we fell mightily in week 3 going 5-3. The last three games were all losses to "Puma." Needless to say, it left a bad taste in every one's mouth going into week 4. It also didn't help that out of all six teams in the competition, Puma had the poorest form of sportsmanship. I was told that one of their players abandoned their newborn baby in a dumpster a few years ago. Going into week 4, we split with Puma 2-2, then took 3 out of 4 against the "Average Joe's." What a creative name. Week 5 paired us against top seeded "Bye Week." Bye Week had a team full of gunslingers who were extremely overaggressive. What I mean by that is all of their guys would throw the ball as hard as they could, but they wouldn't keep any balls left behind for shielding. As soon as the rockets flew by us, they became sitting ducks. We took them down 6-2 in what easily could have been a sweep.


Entering the tournament as the #2 seed -- we booted Bye Week to #3 and Puma usurped the top seed -- we defeated Bye Week after our opening round bye (no pun intended). We employed the same strategy as executed in week 5 -- stay back, let 'em fire, then run-up and pin them. Average Joe's, the "Cinderella team" defeated Puma in a major upset. For the championship, it's a best of 5 series. We split the first two games with Average Joe's which both went to sudden death. After taking the third game thanks to the heroics of Jay, we needed one game to seal the deal. Down 5 players to 2 with less than 30 seconds on the clock, I saw one of the greatest athletic moves of my lifetime. Wake, our team captain, got hit with a ball in his chest, but it shot straight up into the air which he caught. Less than a second later, he threw the ball at the opponent, who was out on the throw. During the throw, one of Average Joe's girls threw the ball at Wake, who caught it with with another ball (a shield) in his hand. A 3 man swing in 12 seconds. In the sudden death, 2 on 2, an Average Joe crossed the midpoint line on the scramble for balls -- an automatic out. What an anticlimactic way to win a championship. I have my gold medal in hand!


Some Key Dodgeball Points:

• Having girls that stay in -- not necessary throwing people out -- are definitely the key (psychologically and mathematically).
• When running up to the midpoint line, always have a "shield" ball or a teammate blocking you.
• Don't throw all of your fastballs at the beginning -- save your arm strength when you need it.
• Aim low -- the nerf balls tend to rise the longer that they're in the air.
• Don't overthrow -- sometimes the best strategy is letting the other team make stupid mistakes.

The Coveted Gold Medal:

B's Bistro asks...

2. What was the best decade ever for music?

a. The 1960's
b. The 1970's
c. The 1980's
d. The 1990's

The Top 10 Baseball Logos

Winston-Salem, NC -- After examining the 10 worst baseball logos yesterday with the Mets coming out on top, today, we'll rank the 10 best logos in baseball. As you read my comments from yesterday's blog, the recurring theme that ran throughout the commentary was that a sleek, modern, simple and up-to-date colors are the key to a great logo. Let's count 'em down...

10. The Washington Nationals


The city of my birthplace created their logo in late 2004 upon learning that the Montreal franchise will move south to DC. The red, white, and blue are very patriotic, or "national." The letters (font) aren't bland by any means. The key here is that the red, white, and blue colors are modern; they're not outdated like the Yankees' red.



9. The San Diego Padres

This logo was introduced to coincide with the opening of their new ballpark, Petco Park, in 2004. These cool, blue colors spread over a home plate fit in well with the city's geography. The brownish-green surrounding the home plate may be a tip to the U.S. Army, who have a very large base in the area.






8. The Detroit Tigers



The best of the old-time logos because the navy blue never gets old. When the "D" is shown on their baseball cap, it may be very simple, but it identifies the city of Detroit, and it shows cage bars for the tigers. All of which is done without being tacky.




7. The Los Angeles Angels


You want to say that their colors are pink (for angels), but they're red -- sort of. Again, another very simple logo without overdoing it. Their previous logo was an example of "overdoing" it. Another fact: when the Angels changed from the "Anaheim Angels" to the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" prior to the 2005 season, they didn't have to touch their logo!



6. The Chicago White Sox



When I was in 5th grade, and the White Sox changed to this cool look from those raggity old blue and red jerseys, everyone bought a Sox hat. Why? Because it was cool to have a black hat back then. This logo hasn't grown old in time since then.




5. The San Francisco Giants


The Giants have slightly tinkered with their logo over the years, but they never drifted from their longstanding theme. The black and orange go very well together -- and I like how it brings the baseball stitches out. The letters almost look vintage, while still looking modern in some peculiar way.




4. The Atlanta Braves


Yes, I guess you can call this one a biased pick. But the red, blue, and gold go very well together. After spinning off 14 consecutive division titles with this logo, I don't think you'll see a change for awhile. Sans the 1970's "a" logo, the Braves have never really had a great logo. Usually, outside props bring down the look of the logo, but the tomohawk in this case enhances it. Choppin' time!

3. The Seattle Mariners

The ability to combine blue, green, and silver without looking like seaweed is the logo's best attribute. I love the mariner compass combined with the baseball. I almost wish that the M's would remove the outer circle with the team's name and just have the compass and baseball. This is the best logo that doesn't simply have the team's name or the city's first letter.

2. The Colorado Rockies

The purple and black looks awesome. Of course, you have to incorporate the mountains in the logo, and they did that tastefully. This logo is on their main scoreboard at Coors Field and it surprisingly goes well in red brick. When you think purple in sports, the Rockies are the first team to come to mind. The baseball is placed carefully in the logo, not to block the mountain.

1. The Houston Astros

I long have an an affinity for the Astros' logo. Their brick red colors are my personal favorite colors -- and it's also the color of Union Station, the former train station latched on to Minute Maid Park. The outside prop, the star, is classy. The cursive writing is done perfectly. I love it when the Stros wear their red jerseys -- the best alternate jersey in the game. And that does it, the Stros take home the logo championship (as they get slaughtered by the Nats this week).

The 10 Worst Baseball Logos

Greensboro, NC -- With marketing and advertising delivering big bucks to team owners in the form of merchandise sales, let's see which teams could use a little sprucing up of their logo. Out of the 30 teams, I will rate the top 10 worst logos. I'm analyzing the logo exclusively, and not reviewing the team's uniform, cap, or any alternate logo. Tomorrow, I'll rank the top 20. So, without further ado, let's rank the top 10 worst logos in baseball.

10. The Chicago Cubs

I admit that this is a classic logo, so it's highly unlikely that it will change in the near future. However, why not incorporate an actual cub into the logo? Perhaps it could be crawling out of the "C." With all of the talented graphic designers out there, surely one could replicate the Memphis Grizzlies' new uni's.



9. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays


I have placed the D-Rays in the top 10 because they've had nearly as many logos as seasons played in baseball. The marketing director must be an indecisive goon. Purple and green on baseball logos and uniforms should be reserved for minor league teams. I do like the devil ray coming out of the "y" though.


8. The New York Yankees


Again, another "classic" logo. But surely The Boss can cough up a few dollars to enhance this logo. How about in 2009 when they move into the "New" Yankee Stadium? The baseball reference is fine, but where else do the Yankees have red in their uniforms?



7. The Philadelphia Phillies



I like how the logo incorporates a symmetrical field and the Liberty Bell. I'm not saying to put a cheesesteak in the logo, but add a little more "philly" to it. These colors are long outdated. Give me something with a little bit more sleek.



6. The Minnesota Twins


Yawn. Another logo that should have retired long ago. Maybe we see a new logo to couple the new ballpark opening in 2010? I think the creators of this logo just threw the baseball in at the end. I think that the Twinkies should incorporate the lakes, such as a ball landing in a (frozen) lake like this year's All-Star logo.



5. The Toronto Blue Jays

This logo was unveiled within the past couple of years. There is way too much business going on here. While it's a significant upgrade over their past logos, namely because it doesn't feature the Canadian Maple Leaf, it still needs work. The "J" with the blue jay sprouting out looks tacky on a baseball cap. I like the blue, silver and black look, but let's shrink it down a little.

4. The Oakland Athletics

"You can't mess with tradition" is the theme of this countdown. Even with the whacy, former owner, Charlie Finley, long-gone from the team, the A's continue to flaunt this green and yellow menace. I remember in Little League how everyone wanted to be the A's because they were "green." I'm not sure why an elephant is featured in their alternate logo either. But, did you know... Charlie Finley was the one who devised the yellow tennis ball because he couldn't see the white ones. See where he got the idea?

3. The Cleveland Indians

I won't get into how this logo is politically uncorrect because a) I'm a Redskins' fan, and b) I'm also a Braves' fan, who's previous mascot was "Chief Nok-A-Homa." Creative! I like the Indians' alternate logos with the "C" and the "I." I'm just not a fan of this cartoon drawing.

2. The Pittsburgh Pirates


Speaking of cartoons, this one is absolutely terrible. I love the standard "P" on their caps, while using the city's colors, black and gold. While the Tampa Bay Bucs go a little overboard (no pun intended) with their pirate ship, I think that's the route to take. Maybe use a baseball as a cannonball?

1. The New York Mets

So you knew that I was going to put a New York team here? Of course! I know that the colors are suppose to signify the city's two abandoned teams, the New York Giants (orange) and the Brooklyn Dodgers (blue). It's not a bad idea, but it just doesn't work. Pick one of the colors and use it with black. Again, a new stadium is on the horizon in 2009. Make the switch and quit making me think of Hardee's (in the 90's) when I watch them!

So Hot Hot Hot!

Greensboro, NC -- I don't have a more interesting topic today because I've been under the weather a little bit (no pun intended). Since the start of this century, I believe that 90% of all illnesses that I've endured have involved a sore throat. I get a sore throat roughly three times a year, or once every four months. Just a little frustration on my part...

Down here in the Carolinas, we've been experiencing triple degree heat. I know this "swampy" weather is no stranger to the other two areas that I'm familiar with -- DC and Atlanta. Every August is just a steam bath on the East Coast. With that said, I thought that I would introduce you to some "hot" songs... you know... to go along with the weather!

Today's theme is songs that involve the word "hot" or some other synonym. Here we go!

• Bruce Springsteen - "I'm on Fire" - A classic 2 minute+ song recorded during the month of my birth revolving around not being able to sleep at night.
• Billy Idol - "Hot in the City" - That classic English style melody, this song was a contestant on Billy Idol's Greatest Hits.
• The Cure - "Hot Hot Hot" - Not one of The Cure's well-known songs.
• Midnight Oil - "The Beds are Burning" - Probably Midnight Oil's most famous song.
• Robert Palmer - "Some Like It Hot" - Had to pull this one out. Did you know Robert Palmer has been making records since 1969?
• The Cult - "Fire Woman" - I think The Cult has had more band members than singles. This song comes from their 1989 album "Sonic Temple."
• Talking Heads - "Burning Down the House" - The Talking Heads always have a song that appears on a categories list.
• The Bloodhound Gang - "Fire, Water, Burn" - A WHFS staple in 1997. I can still hear that rooster.
• U2 - "Fire" - Ok, I had to. This tune was a throw-in on the 1981 album, "October."

We're in for a couple more weeks of this. Until the fantasy football drafts take place, stay cool!

This Is The End

Greensboro, NC -- My stomach used to churn around this time of year when I was a youngster. I couldn't stand going back to school; the end of August to the end of May seemed like an eternity away. The numerous tests, quizzes, papers, and times waking up too early in the morning appeared to be insurmountable at this time. This view was generally shared between my buddies and me in elementary school and middle school. As we entered into the high school years, that viewpoint began to dwindle amongst my buddies. As the years of high school accumulated, the thought of going back to school didn't seem that bad. That was never the case with me. As much as I enjoyed my college experience, I always used to "milk" the days of summer vacation until the final day, meaning that I would wait until the very last day to return to school. So now, with the youngsters brushing the dust off their backpacks, and hearing the whines and crys from brothers to cousins, a music idea popped in my head. Here's a list of all the songs that mentioned an "ending" or "finality" in their title. I feel their pain.

• Tom Petty - "Last Dance with Mary Jane" - Good sone, good music video, fitting for this "list of ends."
• Tom Petty - "The Last DJ" - Two from TP. Maybe a recurring theme in his work?
• Crowded House - "Don't Dream It's Over" - Yeah, that's what I used to say.
• The Rolling Stones - "The Last Time" - Did you know part of the main riff of this song was used in The Verve's "Bitter Sweet Symphony?" Man, that song is full of plagiarism.
• The Motels - "Suddenly Last Summer" - The lead singer, Marth Davis, mentioned that the idea of this song developed from hearing the bells of an ice cream truck at the end of one summer.
• The Strokes - "Last Nite" - A good song; however, the guitar riff is stolen from Tom Petty's "American Girl"
• The Doors - "The End" - Another Doors classic.
• Semisonic - "Closing Time" - This "one-hit wonder" is another sign for "get out" when the bar lights come on.
• R.E.M. - "It's the End of the World as We Know It" - A feeling that you get when it's August 31st and you still have 4 books to read on your summer reading list.
• Jeff Buckley - "Last Goodbye" - Before Buckley tragically died, he cut this song, originally supposed to titled "Unforgiven." It's probably his most famous hit.
• Europe - "The Final Countdown" - I can still hear the opening notes in my ears from 12/31/99.
• The Eagles - "The Last Resort" - Overshadowed by "Hotel California," this single discusses the demise of society.

As Jason B. used to say, "Once you get past the depressing months -- September, October, and November, it's downhill from there. December, you have Christmas to look forward to. Then the new year, and second semester, tend to always go faster." -- August 1996

Mull-It

Greensboro, NC -- I've seen my fair share of mullets down here in North-by-God-Carolina. This breakdown says it all:

Definition

The Mullet: A hairstyle, common among those of low socio-economic status consisting of short, well-groomed hair on the anterior area of the head, and long, flowing locks on the posterior area of the head.

Business in the front

Party in the rear

This speciman is a clear demonstration of the classis mullet. Notice how this mullet proudly displays his exotic plumagw while in a menacing stance. Classic indeed. The handlebar stache add points to the speciman's overall look and "mulletude."

Mullet Synonyms

Drape Ape, Wisconsin Waterfall, Mississippi Mud Flap, Missouri Compromise, Louisiana Purchase, Neck Blanket

The Femullet

Mullet Hot Spots

Professional wrestling matches

County fairs

Monster truck rallies

Dog tracks

Ripken Snubbed?

Winston-Salem, NC -- After the smoke has cleared from Cooperstown, two of the best players of the 80's and 90's were inducted into the Hall of Fame. Those players, of course, were Cal Ripken and Tony Gwynn. With Bonds knocking on 756 homeruns, it luckily didn't steal the show of two gentlemen players.

My mom actually brought this point up to me since she's a big Cal Ripken fan. Did Sports Illustrated, perhaps right behind ESPN as the top provider of sports news, forget to display a tribute to Cal in their most recent issue? After all, Cal has graced the cover numerous times during his playing career -- I counted 7, including 4 during 1995, the year of The Streak. Well, with a little research from the BPA, Inc. Research Department, a special issue was made specifically for Cal... voila!...

Cal has done some amazing things over the years, some of those good deeds include:

• Bringing baseball back after the 1994 Strike with The Streak.
• Signing autographs for an hour after every game.
• Winning 2 MVP Awards and the Rookie of the Year Award.
• Winning a World Series.
• Building the Aberdeen IronBirds minor league franchise into a complete success.
• Running two other minor league franchises in Savannah and South Carolina.

And this week, Cal was named a goodwill ambassador to the Secretary of State. What can this guy not do? My personal favorite story of Cal, aside from watching him take the famous lap around Camden Yards on September 6, 1995 when The Streak became official, was him staying after an Orioles' game in 1996 signing autographs for an hour and 20 minutes! I was the third person in line when he had to go.

Is there anything bad about Cal? I talked to a friend of a friend, who lives in Emmittsburg, MD, and she runs a landscaping business. Her business was called on to mulch a section of Cal's estate. However, Cal's assistant told her and her crew to not even look or approach Cal if you see him on the grounds. I don't know how credible that story is.

The baseball junkie that I am... I still have to make it up to Aberdeen for a game. Speaking of games, does anyone notice that the attendance at Camden Yards has plummeted since Cal retired? How do you put fannies in the seats (aside from winning!)? Have Cal buy the team! We haven't seen the end of Mr. Ripken, and that's not a bad thing.

O-nother Blunder

Winston-Salem, NC – I couldn’t help but notice that the Orioles’ top pick in June’s draft, switch-hitting catcher Matt Wieters from Georgia Tech, remains unsigned before tonight's 11:59 p.m. deadline. Scott Boras, the agent of Wieters, is asking for a $10.6M, while the Orioles are offering a little less than $6M.

My question to the Orioles is: Why would draft him if you’re not going to sign him? You know that he is a Boras client, so the signing price will be absorbent. I believe that if the Orioles didn’t take Wieters, the Nationals would have selected him next. If the Nats selected him and signed him, imagine the backlash to the Orioles’ front office. For the record, the Nats agreed to terms with their other first round pick Josh Smoker yesterday.

I thought the Orioles were "trying to do everything possible" to turn this franchise around. If you’re going to dole out $30M in free agent contracts to mediocre players such as Aubrey Huff and Jay Payton, why not throw out a “paltry” $2-3M to get this guy signed. This guy is the next Jarrod Saltalamacchia, only with better defense.

I did not laud the Orioles’ decision to hire Andy MacPhail, because one merely has to glance at the Cubs’ record for the past decade. Yes, he won a championship with the Twins in 1991, but the baseball business has undergone a fundamental change. As Ken Rosenthal points out, MacPhail has traveled down this road before. In 1993, the Twins drafted Jason Varitek, a switch-hitting catcher from Georgia Tech, with their first round pick. Varitek's agent, Scott Boras (ring a bell?) and MacPhail could not agree to terms, so Varitek returned to school to prepare for the subsequent year’s draft. We all know what happened to Varitek from there -- drafted by the Mariners in 1994, traded to the Red Sox where he became a cornerstone in the team's 2004 world championship.

Ahhh… the Orioles.

Two for Tuesday

Greensboro, NC -- Undergoing a massive overhaul with my ipod during the past couple of weeks. I've been cleaning out some tunes that I never really liked in the first place. Other songs that I gave the ax to just had poor sound quality. With that comes today's theme, and discovery. I just realized how many songs are outdated in the world's rock n' roll collection. I found this group of hits, with a little help from Dave FM.

• Prince - "1999" - It's 2007!
• Tommy Tutone - "Jenny (867-5309)" - Phone numbers are now 10 digits!
• Sting - "Russians" - A song about the repercussions of the Cold War.
• The Beatles - "Back in the USSR" - The USSR no longer exists!
• Sheryl Crow - "All I Wanna Do" - The song features discos and the now defunct record store.
• Bowling for Soup - "1985" - Another year.
• The Bugules - "Video Killed the Radio Star" - Videos? We're onto DVD's!
• Joe Cocker - "The Letter" - Does anyone use snail mail anymore?
• Joan Jett & The Blackhearts - "I Love Rock n' Roll" - A jukebox at a club? Try the DJ's ipod.
• Paul Simon - "Kodachrome" - Nobody has a Kodak camera anymore.
• Dada - "Dizz Knee World" - In the song, it references flipping the bird to George H.W. Bush, the president. Well, that was 1992.
• The Police - "Roxanne" - That red light has burned out by now.

Because rock may be timeless, but life isn't!

B's Bistro asks...

Poll of the Day:

Who's the Boss?

A. Angela
B. Tony
C. Mona
D. Samantha
E. Jonathan

The Bronx is Back

Winston-Salem, NC – I’ve had this gut feeling since the Red Sox took a 14½ game lead in the American League East back in May. The Yankees are completely dominating teams right now. They remind me of the 1998 juggernaut – amassing homeruns, scoring in double digits every night, etc. If the Yankees do make the playoffs (in the preseason, I picked them as the Wild Card because of their offense), I don’t believe that their pitching staff will carry them very far. The pitching staffs between the 1998 team and this year’s aren’t in the same ballpark. Let’s compare:

1998 Starters
Starter / Record / Innings Pitched / Strikeouts / Walks / ERA
Pettitte / 16-11 / 216 / 146 / 87 / 4.24
Cone / 20-7 / 207 / 209 / 59 / 3.55
Wells / 18-4 / 214 / 163 / 29 / 3.49
Irabu / 13-9 / 173 / 126 / 76 / 4.06
O. Hernandez / 12-4 / 141 / 131 / 52 / 3.13

2007 Starters
Starter / Record / Innings Pitched / Strikeouts / Walks / ERA
Pettitte / 9-7 / 158 / 103 / 52 / 3.93
Wang / 13-6 / 139 / 67 / 37 / 3.94
Mussina / 8-7 / 114 / 73 / 24 / 4.50
Clemens / 4-5 / 72 / 49 / 19 / 4.00
Hughes / 2-0 / 21 / 22 / 7 / 4.64

The ’98 team matched their gaudy offensive numbers with some pretty impressive pitching statistics. IMO, the best way to tell how dominate a starter may be is to see if they average a strikeout per inning. Cone and El Duque were very good in that department. This year’s team possesses no starter with dominate stuff. Hughes may be that guy, but he hasn’t logged in enough innings yet.

**

So, my godfather, a devout Yankees' fan, spouted off these statistics to me last Tuesday:

“On May 29th, the Yankees fell to a season-worst 14½ games out of first place and eight games under .500 at 21-29.

Since then? The Yankees have the best winning percentage in the majors in that span at 41-21 (.661), and have climbed back into the wild-card race.

With yesterday's 5-4 victory against the Blue Jays, the Yankees are a half-game back of the Detroit Tigers for the wild card. They were nine games out of the wild-card race on July 7th.”

So, at the height of the Yankees’ demise in late May/early June, I asked him if he thought the Yankees would make the playoffs. He responded by saying that if the Yankees were 10 games above .500 on August 10th, they will make it. Last Friday, the 10th, the Yankees were 63-51. Today, at 66-51, with 45 games left to go, including 9 against this year’s nemesis, the Orioles, they definitely have a shot. Although, their schedule is brutal for the rest of August:

• 3 vs. Baltimore
• 3 vs. Detroit
• 3 at Los Angeles
• 3 at Detroit
• 3 vs. Boston

Meanwhile, the Red Sox will face:

• 3 vs. Tampa Bay
• 3 vs. Los Angeles
• 3 at Tampa Bay
• 4 at Chicago
• 3 at New York

The remainder of August looks favorable to the Red Sox if they beat the teams that they’re supposed to beat. The Yanks took care of business against the lowly Devil Dogs and ChiSox, now the Red Sox need to do that to pad the lead.

My prediction: The Red Sox hang on to the division despite some bumps in the road. If the Twinkies don’t make their big second half run, the Tigers will take home the AL Central with the Yankees punching their playoff ticket via the Wild Card.

OvalStickers.net Review

Winston-Salem, NC – My shoulder was killing me last night after firing a couple dozen rockets at our weekly dodgeball game. As a result, I couldn’t make it online last night to churn out a blog.

Onward with today’s topic… If you’ve been in a car at all this decade, I’m sure you’ve seen the white oval stickers with black writing on somebody’s rear bumper. Inside the oval is usually an abbreviation of a cool place, then in tiny letters below it is the actual place's name. The most famous of them all is probably “OBX,” for the Outer Banks, NC. During my one trip to the “OBX” in 2001, I thought the city itself created those stickers because everyone had one on their rear bumper. Since around that time, the oval stickers began to expand to other places, most notably beaches.

• BB = Bethany Beach, DE
• FI = Fenwick Island, DE
• OC = Ocean City, MD
• DCL = Deep Creek Lake, MD

As their popularity rose, so did their inventory of city names. If you go to OvalStickers.net’s official website, you can find just about any sticker that you want. The inventory doesn’t include just city names, but also catchphrases, political candidates, animals, professions, airport codes, etc. As a former Maryland resident, I especially enjoy the “I Hate 495” interstate sticker. But the best part of all is that if you cannot find the sticker that you’re looking for, OvalStickers.net will gladly take your request (within copyright restrictions). Mark Wilson, the editor at OvalStickers.net, was able to help the Bistro out with a sticker of their own. Upon placing my request, Mark was able to turn around the design within minutes! Usually, when you’re working on creating or designing a personal item, you would expect it to take a few weeks (as I was expecting). Maybe I’m not caught up on the latest technology, but I was definitely surprised by the quick turnaround. I think, with the rising popularity of OvalStickers.net, that more people will come up with their own ideas, whether it be business names (restaurants especially), small town names, cars, or hobbies.

By request, you can obtain the following sticker from me:

Get yours today!

Office Politics

Greensboro, NC -- It's been awhile since we've heard from the halls of Reynolda. Many of you are familiar with the working situation down here in Winston-Salem, NC. Our company has hired roughly fifty new people since the beginning of the calendar year. Yet, there continues to be some old, stale blood circulating in the veins. If you look at the geography of our office building, my cube would be Tibet. Surrounding my walls are four mid-life princesses who refuse to acknowledge my mere presence. Once you reach outside of the People's Republic of China, you might as well be in Candyland, as everyone exploits their southern charm to me.

A short story of each of the four: #1 is a chain smoker who receives a daily lecture on our computer software from an I.T. programmer who scarfs down potato chips at 10:00 a.m. Over the crunching, the conversation might as well be between a father denying his teenage daughter the keys to his car. She also wears those vanity t-shirts to work; yes, the ones that say, "I'd rather be fishing." It looks like she shops at the local Goodwill. Told to dress up as customers were to be roaming the hall, she threw on this Cabbage Patch dolls-esque dress. #2 will only smile and talk to "her group" while selling her make-up products. She also thinks she's hotter than she actually is. #3 believes that everyone in the office is against her. Her mindset is: "there is always a problem," and her attitude reflects that. In February, I said "hello, how ya doin'?" while passing her in the hall. She looked at me like I had horns coming out of my head and that my face was green. #4 keeps to herself, although she disregards my presense at all times and looks the other way in passing. Quitting time for the four of them is 3:55, 4:27, 4:30, 4:30 p.m. respectively. You would think that they were paid hourly.

As one of our recent "Theme Fridays," members of the Activities Committee were scheduled to bring in a generous serving of a selected fruit for "Fruit Friday." While over two dozens fruits were brought in, enough to feed twice the amount of employees, I completely forgot to bring in the peaches. #2 had the audacity to call me out to our activities director. She even used my first name! For the record, "Thirsty Thursdays" was going on at the baseball game that night.

I'm in the process of trying to discover why these four ladies hate my guts. Some of my theories include:

1. I forgot to say "hi" to one of them on my first day and that one told the others.
2. I had my own office for the first month that I was in Winston. Being older, they might have resented that.
3. I am technically at a higher level than they are, even though we work in completely separate fields. Research would be required on their part to find this out.
4. I was caught picking my nose and didn't know it.
5. I am a man.
6. I chose my cube when I was forced to move and invaded their space (I was thinking that I would become friends with everyone).
7. I am close to all of the directors and chief officers, and they are not.
8. My cube is twice the size of each of theirs.
9. I can talk to more than three people in the office.
10. I'm not stressed out with personal/at-home business.

Not to bombard you with the "I's," but I cannot figure out why these four people refuse to look/speak/interact with me. I have made the effort of initiating small-talk. The final straw came last week. After being ignored, I snapped and wrote Katie an e-mail about how, this point forward, I will refuse to look/speak/interact with them. As soon as I clicked the "Send" button in gmail, #2 came over to my cube and said, "Hey Brian, how ya' doin? Did you get as much rain as we did last night?" Instant Karma. Only 134 business days. A kind "hello" was uttered from my lips that afternoon, and we're back to starting a new streak.

By The Numbers...

Greensboro, NC -- Milestoned out? Three significant milestones occured over the weekend:

1. A-Rod's 500th homerun
2. Bonds tying Aaron with 755 career homeruns
3. Glavine reaching 300 career wins

As I mentioned in a previous blog about the (in)significance of 500 homeruns, it was the second time this season that a player has reached that "milestone." With Bonds, I was hoping that he'd be stuck on 754 homeruns until the end of the season. I'm not sure if any team will sign him in the offseason. With the Giants yearning to get younger, Bonds doesn't really fit the motto. Glavine's 300th win was the most refreshing. Unlike the homerun milestones, there is no other pitcher even close to reaching 300 wins. We may not see that happen again for at least ten years, while our next 500th homerun player is on deck, in the form of Manny Ramirez, with Jim Thome in the hole.

Stepping off the diamond, and re-organizing my ipod, to commemorate all of the milestones, have you ever noticed how many songs have a number in it? Help me with the list:

• U2 - "One"
• Tommy Tutone - "Jenny (867-5309)"
• Ryan Adams with Sheryl Crow - "Two"
• The Wallflowers - "6th Avenue Heartache"
• Nena - "99 Luftballoons"
• R.E.M. - "Driver 8"
• Billy Idol - "Sweet 16"
• Bruce Springsteen - "Tenth Avenue Freezeout"
• U2 - "Two Hearts Beat As One"
• The Police - "Murder By Numbers"
• Dolly Parton - "Nine To Five"
• Smashing Pumpkins - "Zero"
• Our Lady Peace - "4 a.m."
• R.E.M. - "Star 69"
• The Wallflowers - "Three Marlenas"
• Barenaked Ladies - "If I Had $1,000,000"
• Dave Mathews Band - "#41"
• Matchbox 20 - "3 a.m."

Feel free to chime in with your own favorites...

Twinkie Talk, Meet Pat Neshek

Winston-Salem, NC – "Baseball Wednesdays" return with a team that didn’t make a significant trade yesterday; however, they are considered to be a contender. (I will get to all of the trading deadline deals later on this week.) The Twinkies lone transaction was sending 2B Luis Castillo to the Mets for a couple of minor leaguers. Subsequently, a very frustrated Johan Santana said this about the team. I can just see the Yankees, Mets, Red Sox, Cubs, Dodgers, and Angels licking their chops. Santana is set to become a free agent after the 2008 season. Maybe the Twins pull off a deal this offseason with another team to acquire major league ready prospects. A deal, such as this potential one, mimics the Pedro Martinez deal prior to the 1998 season. Martinez, 25 at the time, was entering the prime of his career and had one year left on his contract. The Red Sox obtained a steal in Martinez (also key was the Sox's ability to lock up Martinez for the long term), but I cannot see Twins GM Terry Ryan asking for anything less than 2 or 3 type A prospects.

Just wanted to call your attention to Pat Neshek, the primary set-up man in the bullpen for the Twins. Neshek, an All-Star candidate this year, possesses a unique submarine/sidearm delivery. It’s one of the coolest deliveries that I have ever seen. Here is some amateur footage of him warming up in a recent game.

Neshek’s statistics to date:

• 6-1 record
• 50 2/3 IP
• 11 ER
• 60 K's
• 18 BB's
• 24 Hits

Those are some ridiculous numbers. 60 strikeouts in 50 innings! In 52 appearances, he’s given up only 11 earned runs. It takes a special case for a middle reliever to be on your fantasy team, and Neshek is one of those cases.

Aside from his outstanding statistics, Neshek is one of the few (but growing number of) major leaguers who have their own blog. Updated daily, Neshek’s blog gives you the in’s and out’s of life on the road as a professional baseball player. Check out his blog here. If you can’t tell, Neshek is an avid baseball card collector. He has in his possession some notable treasures.

Just wanted to raise the point of the baseball profession. Traveling from city to city is such a grueling process. As fans, we take for granted the traveling and late night arrivals that players go through. A better example of my point was raised in Amy K. Nelson’s recent article on players who are traded at the deadline. If a player is traded, he usually has a day or so to report to his new team. He and his family have to make an instant decision whether to move to their new city or remain behind. Check out the article here. It’s pretty cool that Neshek carves out the time to answer the hundreds of letters that he receives weekly.

Sent Neshek a note (and a baseball card to sign) on B’s Bistro blog. We’ll see if he checks it out.