10 minutes

Ashton, MD -- Have you ever noticed that when you order Chinese food, it's always ready in 10 minutes? No matter what the size of the order may be, from when you hear the owner's daughter of the Chinese restaurant say "take order" over the phone to when you enter the restaurant and walk past the nasty fish tanks, your order always takes 10 minutes. To test this theory, I've ordered Chinese food from several different carry-out restaurants scattered across a couple of states. From Atlanta to Winston-Salem to Rockville to Silver Spring, my order of orange chicken and fried rice takes 10 minutes. Not 15 or 20 minutes -- 10 minutes!

To further test this theory, I've ordered Chinese food with several different friends and family and have always yielded the same result. My family of six orders enough entrees and spring rolls to feed a small army. Before I moved, I used to grab lunch with the legendary Chinese food connoisseur, Patrick King in Rockville. On St. Patrick's Day, The Reed, Katie, and I dined over fine food from "The Golden Buddha." And, as I mentioned before, I sometimes pick up some Chinese food flying solo. What do all of these occurences have in common? Our food was ready in 10 minutes!

I have a feeling that the all of the food is prepared (sliced and diced) prior to the order. Because the pieces are very small, it takes a short time to cook. But, with large orders, how do they have everything cooked and wrapped up in a plastic bag in less than 600 seconds? I bet you could order a piece of the moon from a Chinese restaurant and it would be in your hands in 10 minutes. Until I figure out how it's done, I'll continue to eat my salted, flavored dog meat, I mean orange chicken, faster than you can cook those nasty Ramen noodles.