Winston-Salem, NC – This blog will deviate from its traditional content in order to address one of the greatest discoveries in the history of western civilization. This innovation was brought to my attention by my brother, Kevin, as it was passed down to him from his good buddy and ol' college pal, Dave Schmidt. One of the most common and natural items on our daily, sometimes weekly, agenda is to “use the can.” It’s a simple 3-step process that usually steals a couple of minutes from our day. But, why not enjoy the moment by pulling an “A.C. Slater?” Yes! – the A.C. Slater, played by Mario Lopez in the early 90’s hit show, Saved By The Bell. If you remember correctly, A.C. always sat in his chair backwards – it was the cool thing to do. With everything related to fashion in a full throwback mode, why not “pull an A.C. Slater” and sit backwards on the can? By performing this move, you’ve set yourself up with a “lounge” table to prop up your magazines and books or hold a cold drink, all while conducting your business. Why not knock out a few pages in your novel? Economically speaking, this time alone could be referred to as “sunk time,” a la the economic term, “sunk cost;” a cost already incurred and paid for – there is no getting it back. By “pulling an A.C. Slater,” you could save more time (reading, consuming food and/or drink) and hence more money by simply turning your body around on the pot.
It has been reported that the founder of this innovation has taken it to an extreme. Due to side walls and spacing conditions, Dave has purportedly hired a contractor to cut some portions of his bathroom wall in order to accommodate his discovery. I, myself, was curious if this move would work, and I can report with great affirmation that The A.C. Slater indeed does succeed in all of the attributes written above. Try it yourself and share your results in the “comments” section below.
5 comments:
My productivity has gone up three-fold since discovering the "AC Slater". I even went ahead and put a juicer on the back (now the front) of my toilet so I can make a weeks worth of fresh squeezed OJ everytime I release a victory pile. This whole concept just makes me think "What else is out there right before our eyes that we have yet to uncover?"
i tried it...it was alright...but may i add that i did my math homework while doing it...as June would say, "It was GREAT"
Brother John used to perform that AG Slater move on the pot. Except when he executed it, it was more like "skunk time".
Holy CRAP!!! literally! I always keep a book on the back of the pot for the prupose of killing two birds with one stone....but my goodness....this move prevents those little red circles from appearing on your legs from where your elbows are usually resting when in the office for an extened period of time...the only downfall, which could easily be corected, are those offices that have the toilet paper in front of the camode...you do get a nice stretch going when turning to reach for the final paperwork.
This does create a great little desk to maximize your time and keep doing business while you do your business. However, keep in mind that you'd have to take your pants and underroos completely off to take full advantage of the AC Slater and not create crazy stress on your knees and back. Also, without the back support and all the extra time you might spend while curing cancer or finally calculating that last digit of pi--you may quickly head down a path of giving yourself pretty shitty hemorrhoids.
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