DC Sports Quotes of the Year

Winston-Salem, NC -- One of life's biggest oxymorons is the professional sports athlete. These guys are paid millions of dollars, but their ability to conjure up a complete sentence escapes their mind. To point out the absurdity of their lack of the English language, I initiated the "Quote of the Week" in my weekly Football Pick 'em pool this year. Now, it's time to expand beyond the football hashmarks, and countdown the best sports quotes from DC athletes that were uttered this year. Without further ado...

10. "We want to win all games. When you win, you have good feelings. When you lose, it feels like someone died." – Capitals forward Alex Ovechkin
9. "What a bad pitch it was." – Nationals pitcher Mike Bacsik, asked if anything struck him while watching replays of Barry Bonds's record-setting homer
8. "No man, a kicker is nobody I even pay attention to on the field. Waste of my time." – Redskins cornerback Carlos Rogers, when asked if he had ever fought a kicker
7. "This year will be different because I won't be caught up looking at all the stars in the stands. Well, unless I see Beyonce out there." – Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas on the NBA All-Star Game in Las Vegas
6. "He's chasing history. Whoop-dee-doo." – Dmitri Young on the Nationals' impending date with Barry Bonds 5. "I drink beers before the game, and then I go to play hockey. That's why I do some crazy moves, because I'm drunk." – Capitals forward Alex Ovechkin, joking (presumably) about his pregame rituals
4. "It's Valentine's Day. We're in love with each other." - Wizards Coach Eddie Jordan on the team’s mood
3. “If he says, 'Clinton, I need you to run through that brick wall,’ and that brick wall, it’s hard to run through a brick wall, I’ve got to find a way to get as close as I can and dive over the top of this brick wall and tell him, ‘[Bleep], I made it over.’” – Redskins running back Clinton Portis on offensive coordinator Al Saunders ... I think?
2. “My swag was phenomenal.” – Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas on shooting a game-winner from 32 feet as time expired
1. "It was a pretty serious situation. I pray for his buttocks and his family." – Nationals GM Jim Bowden on Jesus Colome’s injury

Courtesy of Lindsay Applebaum, The Washington Post, 12.27.07

Going "Back"

Winston-Salem, NC -- The days following Christmas are usually marked by "returning" (gifts) and going "back" home or to work. The 52nd week of the year is also probably the least productive of the preceding fifty-one. Everyone is on vacation (at least in my office). So, I thought that it would be appropriate to shuffle through the ol' ipod and find some songs featuring the word, "back."

After a crisp 5 hour, 17 minute commute covering 314 miles from Ashton, MD to Greensboro, NC last night, I need some tunes to get me back in the working mode. As always, your suggestions are better than mine, so please feel free to chime in. Here's what I have:

• The Pretenders - "Back on the Chain Gang" -- a classic on DC's Arrow 94.7 back in the day
• Aerosmith - "Back in the Saddle" -- probably Aerosmith's best song performed live
• Oasis - "Don't Look Back in Anger" -- the song heard after the popular hit "Wonderwall" on the "What's the Story (Morning Glory)?" album
• AC/DC - "Back in Black" -- a headbanger's dream
• The Beatles - "Get Back" & "I'll Be Back" -- two out of a thousand Beatles' classics
• Amy Winehouse - "Back to Black" -- a very talented artist that will eventually go to waste
• R.E.M. - "Don't Go Back To Rockville" -- just found out that this song was written by guitarist Mike Mills, telling his girlfriend not to go back to Rockville, MD
• Matchbox 20 - "Back to Good" -- a hidden song on the album with Push and 3 a.m.
• Steve Winwood - "Back in the High Life Again" -- not too familar with this song
• Tom Petty - "I Won't Back Down" -- a Petty classic

While we're on the topic of road trips and going back home, what's the best "in-car food?"

a) McDonald's Fries.

b) Taco Bell.

c) Popcorn and/or Trail Mix.

d) Candy bars.

e) French Onion Soup.

Cleaning Out The Notebook

Ashton, MD -- I'm shuffling through the notebook this afternoon, cleaning out any unused topics before the 2007 year comes to a close. Some random thoughts:

• Are the Redskins trying to replicate the 2005 season's finish? One more win on this Sunday versus our arch-rival Dallas would give us 9 wins and good enough for the final Wild Card spot. Just one win either against the Bills, Bucs, Eagles, Packers, or Giants would allow us to relax going into the final week of the season. However, I think Gibbs had his best coaching game of Gibbs II against the Vikings. The "12 men on the field" challenge was brilliant.
• If Roger Clemens did not take steroids, then why would his trainer Brian McNamee rat out Andy Pettitte (who admitted taking hGH) and lie about Clemens?
• Check out the Dave Mathews Band's Live from Piedmont Park (Atlanta) DVD from this past September. Those talented guys know how to play so effortlessly.
• Looking forward to U2's new album in 2008. They average 4 years to produce a new album nowadays.
• Any new music suggestions, please send them my way.

And finally, my last "B's Bistro" poll question of the year...

What's the best Christmas song ever?

a) The Christmas Song (Chestnuts) by Nat King Cole.

b) Blue Christmas by Elvis.

c) Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives.

d) White Christmas by Bung Crosby.

e) The Channukah Song by Adam Sandler.

Season's Greetings!

College vs. NFL Coaches

Greensboro, NC -- Last week, Bobby Petrino quit on his team, the Atlanta Falcons, and ran off to accept the University of Arkansas's head coach position. I've noticed an increasing trend among hot-shot college coaches testing their skills in the NFL, then departing after a season or two, only to run back to college.

Recently, the list of failed college coaches includes:

• Bobby Petrino: Louisville, Falcons, Arkansas
• Nick Saban: LSU, Dolphins, Alabama
• Steve Spurrier: Florida, Redskins, South Carolina
• Butch Davis: Miami, Browns, North Carolina
• Dennis Erickson: Washington, Seahawks, 49ers, Arizona State

Look, not only have these coaches had zero experience in the NFL prior to their first gig, but each of them if offensively minded. And, as Spurrier confirmed in Washington, the Fun' n' Gun doesn't work at the professional level. Defenses are too quick and more intelligent than your average college football team. As we've seen across the board with the successful teams, they have hired a defensively minded coach. Most of the coaches that I'm referring to here were defensive coordinators in the NFL at some point.

• Bill Belichek, NE
• Jack Del Rio, Jacksonville
• Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh
• Lovie Smith, Chicago
• Wade Phillips, Dallas
• John Fox, Carolina
• Jeff Fisher, Tennessee
• Romeo Crennel, Cleveland
• Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati

When Petrino took over the Falcons during training camp, he placed a list of 5 inspirational quotes outside the locker room that were supposed to rejuvenate players as they left for the field. The fourth quote read, "Always Finish." That's advice that Petrino didn't take.

Playing devil's advocate: The NFL is a "business," right? Employees leave jobs all of the time for a better paying job. Isn't that what Petrino did in this case? He left because he was unhappy at his old job. Can we fault him for that?

B's Bistro asks...

Winston-Salem, NC -- B's Bistro asks...

What gift have you never gotten?

a) A pony.
b) A cool ten-speed Schwinn bike.
c) Cash... just give me cash!

Busted

Greensboro, NC -- In the early part of summer 2005, I attended an Orioles' game versus the Tigers at Camden Yards. The highlight of the game wasn't any one play on the field. Following the game, a bunch of us went to grab a burger at Johnny Rocket's at the Inner Harbor place. Brendan, wearing his Dylan Hall dorm house intramural shirt, was called out by a restaurant patron for be a Tigers' fan. The "D" (for Dylan) on Brendan's shirt mirrored the Detroit Tiger's "D" found on their caps and home jerseys.

Anyways, during the game, I was chatting with a casual fan sitting next to me on various baseball topics. With Jay Gibbons up to bat, my new friend uttered, "Lay off the juice, Gibbons!" I asked him if he really thought that Gibbons was using steroids, to which he replied, "yes!" Looking at the sculpting of his arms that day flicking the bat, I quickly realized what he was talking about. No matter how many weights he lifts, protein or creatine consumed, his body sculpture was completely unnatural.

I'm as sick as anyone about the linkage between steroids and baseball. The story got old about two years ago. But what is so damning about the Gibbons bust is his path of lying.

Aug. 2005 (after Palmeiro was caught): "Not one person has come out and said, 'Yeah, I took steroids.' I don't know, is everybody telling the truth? Something's got to give here eventually."

Nov. 2005: "We want to end the problem now and get back to playing ball and not worrying about steroids every day."

Nov. 2006: " have passed every test administered by Major League Baseball over all the years. I have never taken anabolic steroids. And I am not going to dignify these claims and accusations with any further response."

And now yesterday: "I am deeply sorry for the mistakes that I have made. I have no excuses and bear sole responsibility for my decisions. Years ago, I relied on the advice of a doctor, filled a prescription, charged the hGH, which is a medication, to my credit card and had only intended to help speed my recovery from my injuries and surgeries."

If Gibbons was a baseball "good guy," who can we believe going forward? Gibbons gave back to the community, signed autographs while on a rehab assignment in Class-A Frederick (I was the official statistician of that game), and until now, he was a great story being a Rule V pick out of nowhere. He parlayed several productive seasons as the cleanup hitter of awful early-2000 teams into a 4 year, $21M contract before the start of the 2006 season. Just another example of another athlete that we cannot believe -- and another fatal management error of the Orioles' front office.

Bowden's Moves Razzle & Dazzle

Greensboro, NC -- Since the MLB hired Jim Bowden to run the Nationals following their move to DC in the fall of 2004, Bowden has definitely grown on me. I had a perception of him being a trigger-friendly fantasy baseball player-esque type GM. To the contrary, he has "developed" into the GM that I like: build around the draft, make shrewd trades, and use free agency only as a stopgap.

Recapping some of Bowden's Trades:

• J. Rivera for Guillen
• T. Kim for J. Spivey
• Day for P. Wilson
• Wilkerson for Soriano
• Majewski, Bray, Clayton for Kearns, Lopez, Wagner
• A bag of balls for Pena
• Schneider, Church for Milledge
• (Prospect) Gibson for Dukes

Stopgap Free Agent Signings:

• D. Young -- obtained for pennies on the dollar
• N. Logan
• R. King

When he tries to sign a player to a long-term deal, that's when Bowden runs into problems:

• C. Guzman
• V. Castilla
• N. Johnson (for injury reasons)
• Schneider (now traded)

Bowden absolutely fleeced the Mets for Milledge. I remember last year that Minaya wouldn't trade Milledge for Zito during the trading deadline. Maybe the Mets would have a '06 banner in Shea had the deal been made.

Here's "Capitol Punishment's" Chris Needham's take on the acquisition of Elijah Dukes:

"In a pure talent sense, it's a solid swap.
I'm not especially high on Gibson's long-term potential, thinking that he's
putting up stats with excellent command of mediocre stuff.
But the stathead side of me is superseded by the fanboy side. Any player whose Wikipedia
profile needs a separate off-field issues section is one you've gotta be careful of. And
it's a player I'm going to take no joy in rooting for."

And Rob Neyer adds this:

"I guess I'm an idiot, because the trade for Dukes seems to me right in
line with the signing of Dmitri Young and the acquisition of Lastings Milledge.
Yes, Dukes is in a class of his own. I understand that. But all three players
came with particular sorts of baggage; not coincidentally, all three suffered
dramatic drops in perceived value within a short period of time."

Also, it doesn't hurt that I got to meet Bowden last summer (June 2006) in Boston and he posed for a quick photo:

What the Dukes trade a wise decision?

New Uni's

Greensboro, NC -- One of my "secret indulgences" that I partake in online is a running blog called "Uni Watch" by Paul Lukas. This blog is updated every time a professional or collegiate sports team changes their uniform or alters it slightly. Picture examples are usually provided. However, I'm going to beat "Uni Watch" to the punch because I discovered that three teams have already introduced a new "alternate" jersey for the 2008 season. Off the top of my head, excluding the traditional teams such as the Cardinals, Dodgers, and Yankees, every team has an alternate (third) jersey. Both the Blue Jays and Royals are bringing back the popular retro color "powder blue" to their jerseys. Home Run Derby's Richie Rich has the breakdown here:

"In 2008, the Toronto Blue Jays and Kansas City Royals are going to do something that no baseball team has done since 1991.

They're going to break out the Powder Blue Uniforms. Mind you -- they'll only occasionally be used as home alternate uniforms, but that's a feat in and of itself. I don't think anyone's ever worn the powder blue in their home stadium before.

The Royals will be wearing blue shirts (with white pants) while the Blue Jays will go completely retro and bust out the baby blue from head to toe. The Jays will also bring back their old logo, a pullover jersey, and their old two-color cap. I have one of those hats. I love it.

Considering that we haven't seen the powder blue for the last sixteen seasons (and the fact that no one under the age of 21 likely has any memory of powder blue baseball), let's take a trip down memory lane and revisit the teams that dared ... to wear blue"

The Denver Nuggets have made this "retro" color very popular in today's modern culture. While searching for some baseball news earlier this week, the Philadelphia Phillies are adding a new alternative uniform as well, to be worn on Sunday home games. The uniform slightly tweaks their current one; the pinstripes are removed and the caps are blue, giving it an "old new" look.

Ok, so which of these three new uni's do you like the best?

The Sean Taylor Case

Greensboro, NC -- I actually met Sean Taylor at Redskins Training Camp during the summer of 2004. He was a nice, but quiet guy. I remember that he had a large tattoo going around his neck as if it were a permanent necklace. An extremely large man, I can see why wide receivers go the opposite direction when contact is made with him. Nevertheless, all it takes is 9 mm of sheer metal to end this gifted athlete's life. With four suspects in custody as of this writing, the remaining debate in the case is whether Taylor was a victim of a burglary or a planned attack.

The burglary vs. planned attack dilemma befuddles me. Isn't a burglary a planned attack? If one and two are both the same, wouldn't the number of years sentenced be the same as well? Here's what I think what happened... Taylor's family friend threw a party at his mansion behind his back while he was feasting on turkey back in DC. At least two of these four thugs probably attended the party and saw the lavish possessions of Taylor's in his house. With Taylor expected to be in DC on Monday morning for workouts, Sunday night would be the least likely time that he wouldn't be home. The burglary is planned and executed until they see Taylor in his bedroom with a machette. Shots fired. That would be my guess.

Why else would these individuals return to his estate in the middle of the night? Jealousy, precious medallions, and cash could all be factors. But what if the average NFL player earned the average salary of any other U.S. job? What if a star NFL player earned the same amount as a star player of a major company? The answer to the latter question is quite vague depending on the company. Could be $75,000 - $2,000,000 for example. You don't need an education to play football. What you need is body with physical gifts that only several thousand people on this planet possess. That's what you're paid for. What if Taylor had been making a typical salary for a job for someone right out of college? $15K-$75K? Would these hoodlums be looting his house if he were making that kind of dough? Probably not. But that's one of the many downfalls of professional sports (and in life); money -- and therefore, greed.