The Legend of DP begins...

Winston-Salem, NC – When I was transferred down to our Winston-Salem office to coincide with our company’s launch, I met one of the most unusual persons in my life. My first introduction to "DP" was when I arrived at work at 9:00 a.m. on my first day in Winston. DP comes up to me as if she were about to introduce herself and said, “What is this, banking hours?! We start at 8:00 a.m.” Her current position with the company is “Contract Administrator,” not “Executive Vice President.” I countered with the response, "Well, we do make loans, so we're lending money just like a bank." DP was not amused even though I thought she was joking. Subsequently, the following bizarre encounters have occurred since my move down here:

-- DP calls my personal company shirt a “blouse,” especially on “Logo Shirt Friday” when everyone in the company is wearing the same shirt!
-- DP refuses to have lunch with KM (the only other person in the company below 35) because a “boy” would interrupt lunch conversation.
-- When DP and KM eventually had lunch together, DP would not allow KM to have any of the complimentary, “filling” bread. Later, she would also not leave a tip for the waitress for her "expensive" $6.50 salad.
-- The very rare time that I got sick at work and had to go home, DP caught me at the doorway entrance and proclaims “Uh, my sundial says 4:15 p.m.” while looking at her watch.
-- DP refers to me as “the boy.”
-- When I wore my yellow Tommy Hilfiger shirt with black slacks, DP commented to me that I’m wearing Wake Forest colors. I then told her that my brother would be attending Wake in the fall. She says, “Oh,” then quickly turns her head and starts talking to someone else in their cube.
-- When I was walking back to my cube from the break room with hot tea, DP proceeded to hold the door closed, thinking it was funny.
-- DP goes home everyday at lunch to feed and “talk to” her cats. I guess you can blame this one on me since I took away her lunch buddy. Further, she dresses the cats in baby clothes and shows the pictures to fellow co-workers thinking that this is normal.
-- DP had to have surgery sometimes last year for an unknown reason. A large tumor, the size of a slab of meat or the size of a keyboard, was removed from inside her body. She took a picture of the tumor! She framed the picture and it currently hangs on her cube wall!!
-- DP once told KM that her etiquette is pathetic because she doesn’t acknowledge her whispery “psssttt, hey KM” across the room. It is important to note that KM is one of the nicest people that I've ever met.

On her personal web page within the company, there is a quote that reads, “I really enjoy the creativity afforded me in this job,” DP stated with enthusiasm. “It’s great having a job where you’re able to do something you love.” Yeah, like annoy the crap out of everyone around you. The bullet points above are just a small sample size of the stories and encounters that I’ve had with DP. Check back in a few months for more peculiar scenarios.